Love and miss her. But what does it mean anymore?

Betrayal like no other, pain like being cut open, loss n lies. Why ? Why does it not matter commitment or anything. Things being changed "just because"

Lose a soul or a life. Lose them both is like one never existed. Feels like that now.Great saddness fills my heart N soul. It is loss like nothing B4.Lost again

Winston Churchill : "If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find we have lost the future."

Guess it is true: Alexander Hamilton : "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.". What do we stand for? Do we stand for anything? Thinking bout that.

Boo to stolen stuff. Had comp stolen while trying to help some guys broken down. What kind of person steals while being helped like that ? Is there any justice?

? benefits...

? Psalm 103:1-2

Praise the LORD, my soul;
aall my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul,
aand forget not all his

Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.

- Phil Jackson
May we always do

W. E. B. Du Bois : "To stimulate wildly weak and untrained minds is to play with mighty fires.".

Benjamin Franklin : "How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.". -Hm, in process of that, I pray.-

whatting

hello, this is your brain, Dan. Do you know where u are ?

Brain..... Hm next question.

How easy is it to skip out on questions? I think cause it is hard to say I don't know or don't understand.
Well, I don't understand or know everything. What the heck is up with snow? Saw it today and realized, "wow, I know the 'scientific reason' but there is something just inexplainable with it, the purity and awestriking way when it falls, how eah flake is unique. I HAVE NO IDEA why .
Hm. Why doesn't that freak me out ?
Hm, I guess sometimes just gotta not explain, just accept it.

No weird words of stuff. No words of some great author. Just I don't know, but I have to believe. Not in myself,(no way!) But in more than me. Cause as I said before, I don't know everything. So trusting in myself or others only will and is flawed. Hm, think I'm confusing myself. Let me try this again.

Today, I got a glimpse of meaning of why Proverbs 3 says : V. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Oh snow the lesson I have been reminded of . Well I like snow. Wish you were here to see it .

A reflection is not always a welcome sight, yet it helps to show, to see just what needs to be or can be fixed. James 1:23-24 comes to mind.

Long day. Hardest part is seeing yourself, what you don't like and what you have failed to see about self in another . Hm, what does that mean dan?

The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.
- Elbert Hubbard
Did I do good work today? Heart yearns to say yes, but is it truth ?

Hm. Lots of thinking which means I cleaned. Hm, the mind says one thing but the heart says another. Kinda like Romans 7:14-25 well, much to think about still .

"Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love." -
Jeremiah 31:3

Arg, heart pains

I don't know what to do. I want to help her, i want to be with her, i want to love her and show it. But what can I do? Anyone? No one holds my heart like her. I see some beauty which i can never explain. I see such pain which only God cna heal.

WHat is the problem? let me in.

Alas it is easier to say than to do, focus is lost so many times in words. Instead of admitting to oneself or throwing oneself off, we fall into ourselves and lose our way.

I see such beauty, a willingness to want to do right. I see loss, in self and in vision. I see fear, running, hiding. I see complacency, a diversion to the fight.

Oh God, in all things, heal us, I love her so much, I want her to be strong and be there for her. You alone can make it happen, soften our hearts, open our eyes. Carry us when we want to or do give up and fall. I fall all the time, help my scuffed up arms and legs, heal, rebuke in your word. Please give me another chance, with the woman of my heart. Always on my heart, mind and prayers. It feels like a chasm of emptiness. I know you put her there and I there, please make a miracle. YOur will be done, your word be followed, our understanding put to dung, and your strength remove our pride and blindness. Please father, friend and protector. Please, oh Please, I beg of you. Grow that love which was and i believe is still there, overcome the pain and show the way. Please. PLEASE. This heart and soul I beg for renewal and miracle. Open up the heart. Heal her, help her, guide her, pour out mercy and love. I beg of you. My life for hers in a heart beat.
Hear my pleas, the tears, the pain, you overcame death and Satan, please this is like childs play for you. :) THank you for listening. I just don't know how or what to do.

Today

Rend your heart, and not your garments." - Joel 2:13

Garment-rending and other outward signs of religious emotion, are easily manifested and are frequently hypocritical; but to feel true repentance is far more difficult, and consequently far less common. Men will attend to the most multiplied and minute ceremonial regulations--for such things are pleasing to the flesh--but true religion is too humbling, too heart-searching, too thorough for the tastes of the carnal men; they prefer something more ostentatious, flimsy, and worldly. Outward observances are temporarily comfortable; eye and ear are pleased; self-conceit is fed, and self-righteousness is puffed up: but they are ultimately delusive, for in the article of death, and at the day of judgment, the soul needs something more substantial than ceremonies and rituals to lean upon. Apart from vital godliness all religion is utterly vain; offered without a sincere heart, every form of worship is a solemn sham and an impudent mockery of the majesty of heaven.

Heart-rending is divinely wrought and solemnly felt. It is a secret grief which is personally experienced, not in mere form, but as a deep, soul-moving work of the Holy Spirit upon the inmost heart of each believer. It is not a matter to be merely talked of and believed in, but keenly and sensitively felt in every living child of the living God. It is powerfully humiliating, and completely sin-purging; but then it is sweetly preparative for those gracious consolations which proud unhumbled spirits are unable to receive; and it is distinctly discriminating, for it belongs to the elect of God, and to them alone.

The text commands us to rend our hearts, but they are naturally hard as marble: how, then, can this be done? We must take them to Calvary: a dying Saviour's voice rent the rocks once, and it is as powerful now. O blessed Spirit, let us hear the death-cries of Jesus, and our hearts shall be rent even as men rend their vestures in the day of lamentation.

Albert Einstein : "A person, who never made a mistake, never tried anything new." :)

Forgot to write yesterday. Darn it . Oliver Wendell Holmes : "Don't be consistent, but be simply true."

What is today?

Hm, no fun today. Getting frustrated and sad. Frustated cause well, things seem out of hand, those around just sem to lie at every turn. Tell me one thing, then do another. I want to just get in their faces, but I'm still working on controlling my words, cause sometimes I think I say the right thing, but it comes out wrong. Wish I had a translator sometimes, cause I don't seem to be able to pronuciate (real word?) or communicate too great.

Not all bad, sometimes I can say what I mean, but then the problem is how does it come out? Been having discussions with a guy, frustrating, cause even when I have a point, it comes out wrong, but somehow we can laugh it off or come to an understanding.

Hm, random thoughts Dan, you miss her, and love her greatly. Always thinking of her, always. Have to pray. But can I? It's a rollercoaster ride. Why do you love me God? I fail daily in so much, hm, why do you love without borders and wy can't i just give it  to you?  I'm torn and pained, just found out someone been lying to me, and playing games with me. Darn getting sick, I'm supposed ot help people who are sick, not get sick !:)

Well, I hope and pray for miracles, work to do what is right, just hard to give it all cause when I think i'm doing it, I see that at times, I'm tryin to give it aka, guide things in a way I want. Really weird, think Proverbs 3:
 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.
 ⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
   fear the LORD and shun evil.

Think I put this verse out there already before, but  v.5 kicks my backside, I think it kicks alot of people's backsides, man, I know I want to control my future, I want this and think it's best, but really, I have no real clue. Shat do I see here? Well, we all look better in our own eyes, what we think makes sense to us, but if I truly believe, have to just trust what God says, and what He does. I look at all the dif versions of Scripture, and all the dif interpretations, and it is overwhelming. Then  heard a discussion why there are so many, I used to think, "hey, people wanted to make it easier to understand or modernize it" no, lots of people just wanted to make it easy for themselves. Hm, I think the issue is we want it to be easy, nothing is hard fact. But God's Words are hard facts. What He says, we do. No discussion. Repent if it's against what He says or not, but there is no "well I think I should, or it really means this" Hence leaning not on my own understanding. I get that alot myself (aka I do that) I think, well, eh, maybe it's ok cause of this. Heck if God says it, my faith should not be about how to always make it relevant to now, but to just do it. NOW THAT IS CRAZY HARD!  Yet if I trust in Him, then He will lead me right. Won't be quick or even always enjoyable. I don't know, just alot of back tracking, remembering that I don't have the answers, heck, even answers I have (things I know I should do ) I have trouble with that. Hm, sometimes I have asked God to just make me a robot cause it's just so , no, I'm just so messed up, catching myself and mainly being shown where I'm wrong, I get frustrated that I just won't be able to get back up. Well, Dan, today is all you have, now is the time. God help, I can't seem to do it, arg, this mind of mine, just is tryin, but it's so hard. Darn pride and selfish ways.

Hope I'm not alone in this. Well, pray for healing and a miracle.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Need help with that, thought I was, but always ways to grow.
Yikes brain overloaded with stuff. need to reboot it. :) Night Dan.

Ralph Waldo Emerson : "His heart was as great as the world, but there was no room in it to hold the memory of a wrong."

"I am crucified with Christ." -

Galatians 2:20. Hence I have to feel the pain and rejection . Not all roses and playtime. /:)

"I am crucified with Christ." -
Galatians 2:20

We should not fret for what is past, nor should we be anxious about the future; men of discernment deal only with the present moment.

- Chanakya. (y)

"His ways are everlasting."
Habakkuk 3:6. God doesn't change, we do. Will you change for better or worse, Dan? Which will it be ?/:)

Isaiah 7:14Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Friday

Well what is up for today? Hm, more and more classes all day. Hm, did get to ride a motorcycle. Refresher class had to take. Refreshing, scary it was. Haven't ridden in about a year or so. Felt great to ride again once I got over the weirdness of being on a motorcycle.
Hm, thought about life. Refreshers, they can be scary. Or weird at least. Coming back to us after a deployment, scares the snot out of me. Specially now. The hardest part of the class today was not riding, it was turning on the engine..... Would I remember how? Would I look like a doofus? Hm, I realized once I got on, I closed my mind to what others were doing and how dumb I could look and remembered how good it was when I rode. For all the fear and mistakes, once I remebered how peaceful and great it could be I relaxed and refresher training turned to a great time.
That's how life can be, something changes and the hardest part is remembering how much good that has happened, fears come and wonder.....how dumb do I look? What will others think or say? The bottomline isn't that, that is there to push us away. Dan, you sure you making sense? Nope.
All I know is to dwell on the negative or wondering what others say or think need to be it's what God says and He reminds us that all we have to do is remember what great and wonderful things He has done and does. Our minds will betray us. God won't ever and we just have to turn to Him (turn on the engine) and let Him take us for a ride. All the great things will come back and the negative won't be as bad,in fact we might actually learn from it.
Eh, you're ramblin, Dan.
Maybe next time you will make more sense. You love her. God help me understand, heal us please.thank you for Your Love.

"So shall we ever be with the Lord." -

1 Thessalonians 4:17

Why do things seem to be closing like a garbage compactor ? Please God. Why can't I just do the right thing always? Seems like I'm tryin to grab air. Help!:s

How do I show the world you are. The only way?

John 14:6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Today

What is my place in this world? To be in but not of the world. Simple? Well, that is confusing, cause I have to be in the world, and all day I have the same thing, those around me want to follow their own desires and only add God when it suits them. That is not right.

Your place, Dan, is not there. It is not to be a “good guy” not to wake up and go to worship on Sunday or Wednesday. Not to look nice and do some “good things” . No, nothing of the sort.
Haha, I'm scaring myself. Even within me I want to scream “ NO DAN, THIS IS CRAZY! YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND!”

Hm, I that I'm losing my mind so that God's can replace it. Darn this weak and stubborn flesh! Were it as easy to destroy as a piece of paper with fire.

Romans 12:1-3
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,
holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

I have to be dying, in my mind. God doesn't want me to have it “all together” , why the heck would I need Him then? No, He wants me to be dying, continually. Hm, yes Dan, you are having a random moment, why in the world are you thinking of a quote from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone :
“-the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.” ?

Haha, duh, cause that is what I do, what we all do, we choose the worst for ourselves, did it in the garden and do it daily if left to our own devices. Look at “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding, started out good, but then it turned to a tragedy.

Get back on track now, Dan. Pride, the killer of the greatest of men. Look here, God is mentioned 4x, as in what God wants and does.
God's Mercy
to God-not for oneself
God's will
God given ( …..measure of faith God has given”)

All other areas are denial of self, of pride. Not that there is not worth, but focus is not one self. The destruction of self. Hm, so my place in this world is 2 things:
Not feeling like I belong in this world
Removing the “ all about me” to changing it to “No one else but HE”
That takes faith, cause, well He says Him first, others second, Me well, “me” is an work in progress. Hm, I need a mental break, think this over, read it over and sink in, well, Dan, prayers, love, healing, to all, thanks to the Highest for another day of life and being back in the US. The part of m heart I miss and love, I pray for you. God you are more than I can imagine. Help US PLEASE!

1 Samuel 16:7b"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at.Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

"I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some." -

1 Corinthians 9:22

My soul felt as if it was freed from bondage! Glad someone gave a ride to service last night. My heart was overcome with emotion.

Wow. It has been 2 days here. Feel so lost . Wish she was here. May God lead .

hi again

Well back again .

haha funny for today

1. Psalm 126:2
   Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

1 Peter 3: 13-18

1 Peter 3:13-18

13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit,

1 Peter 3:13-18

13 - hm , harm if eager to do good . What does it mean ? eager- wanting to , looking forward,

desirous. If we are eager to do good, hm , our focus is different, we see our goal and harm is harder to do . Instead of seeing things get in the way, we just see our obstacles to overcome and the goal of it all.

14 – Goes back to Jesus talking about being in the world but not of it . And Hebrews 11:32-38, cause they were suffering, but eager to do good. The suffering was not truly suffering , it was a blessing. And they get reward later (and then too, but not as men see it) . They were hurt, persecuted for GOD, look what God says in Heb. 11: 38 “ The world was not worthy of them. “ From GOD – HE says this, the world didn't deserve to have them in it. Take back to Enoch – GOD took him ! The world really was not worthy of that guy . :)

15 – Lord – Used in times as a sign of higher standing over one, so for us HE is over us , our Lord , Servants of HIM, subject of HIM and what HE wants .

Hope – do we know what we hope for ? Do we know why ?

Hard part , especially in/to the world. To be gentle is hard when facing one who is just being hateful or mean. To respect is hard too, cause one who is doing these things to another meanly is hard to respect, yet GOD is able to show , teach that to us through these things . Also, He doesn't say "respect/gentleness if this is happening, or under these conditions or however you feel up to it" He says to do it. I forget that emotions and feelings are not qualifiers, "just do it".

16 – Clear conscience – nuff said ? Those who talk against us ( when we are doing right ) will themselves be convicted of our good works to point of being ashamed .

17 – We won't always suffer for doing good . If we do , it is God's will. Refine by fire, like gold and our faith is worth more than gold. ( 1 Pet. 1:7 ) when we do evil we deserve our punishment . Thank GOD for mercy and forgiveness .

18 – Bridge to God . Our sins are forgiven, no more re-baptism each time, we have forgiveness, through confession and repentance . 

Dunno Dan,  it seems like many times, I'm tryin to make up for my sins, yet since God forgave them (repentance/confession), I shouldn't be trying to add to the load by carrying the guilt of sins past that are forgiven and forgotten (by God) .

Life is already filled with troubles, carrying the past, rather than using it to learn from, is wrong. God doesn't hold us to the sin no more, just like He doesn't hold us to the old covenant. Why do I try and add to what is not necessary or even valid in God's eyes? How can I forgive if I don't take God's forgiveness, His handling of the sin, whether He punishes or not how I want it to be?

About suffering, well, Dan, it's gonna happen, It won't be cause someone deserved it always, it's not fair in many eyes, but life isn't fair. It's gonna happen. What will you do when you needlessly suffer? Will you hold it in your heart? Learn from it? Forgive? Use it to show God's love even more? Try and use it/store it til you can use it for your own venom on another? 

No one has suffered more than God and if He can get over it, go through it, teach from it, forgive from it, Love me from it, and stick with me and still want me and use me ( I make Him suffer, we all make Him suffer/hurt, more than we know), than how can I do that? 

So much more to be said, but my mind is overloading. Dan, you need a break for a few. God is good.....All the time. 

I'm scared to ask this, God, but teach me. I said it and now have to deal with it. Please, I'm scared of how you will teach me, calm me please. Thank You now and in advance.

Imperfection & Savior-By Skillet

You say to us-

Imperfection-lyrics

You're worth so much
It'll never be enough
To see what you have to give
How beautiful you are
Yet seem so far from everything
You're wanting to be
You're wanting to be

Tears falling down again
Tears falling down

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection

You mean so much
That heaven would touch
The face of humankind for you
How special you are
Revel in your day
You're fearfully and wonderfully made
You're wonderfully made

Tears falling down again
Come let the healing begin

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection

You're worth so much
So easily crushed
Wanna be like everyone else
No one escapes
Every breath we take
Dealing with our own skeletons, skeletons

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection

Won't you believe, yeah
Won't you believe, yeah
All the things I see in you

You're not the only one
You're not the only one
Drowning in imperfection

Savior-Lyrics:
I'm everything you've wanted
I am the one who's haunting you
I am the eyes inside of you
Stare back at you

There's nothing left to lose
There's nothing left to prove
Surrender your love
It's all you can do, yeah

What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
But I know, yeah, I know
What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
Your savior

It's time to redefine
Your deophobic mind
Don't hesitate, no escape
From secrets on the inside

There's nothing left to lose
There's nothing left to prove
Surrender your love
It's all you can do, yeah

What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
But I know, yeah, I know
What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
Your savior

I am the eyes inside
Staring back at you [2x]

You need, you need me, yeah

What you got
What you need
Everything's gonna crash and break
What you got
What you need
Everything's gonna crash and break

What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
But I know, yeah, I know
What you got
What you want
What you need
Gonna be your savior
Everything's gonna crash and break
Your savior

I'm watching you
Cause you need me
Yeah, yeah, cause you need me
I'm watching you

I don't understand why, this weak and fragile mind and body, you want this imperfection. You make the rules, just very thankful you want me/us.  Thank You.

Seventh Day Slumber My Struggle

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Lord I need your strength
'Cause I am weak and falling to my knees.
Who is on my side?
'Cause I can't tell my friends from enemies.
Filling up with pain.
Bitterness controls the air I breathe.
What am I fighting for?
Do you have a plan for me?

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour,
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Must be some mistake.
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid. 

How I know I feel at times, how life feels at times, before you, I know.....for evertime I feel like this and others,  God, Father, You ,tell me.....

Seventh Day Slumber- Running Away

Followed my feet to nowhere again, wherever I go there I am
I'm stuck on this road and life just keeps passing me by
What can I do to get from beyond these walls that are laughing at me?
Sentenced to life and the prison is in my mind.

Chorus:
Losing my mind and pushed to the acts,
Someone stop me from running away.
Losing my mind and pushed to the acts,
Someone stop me from running away.

Followed my feet to nowhere again, think that I'm going insane.
Searching for peace by the outcome is always the same.
I wanna beleive that I'm here for something
More than just taking up space.
Running away cause I just can't deal with this pain...

(Chorus)

Here I am....

(Repeat chorus 2x)

(Losing my mind) Someone stop me from running away...
(Losing my mind) Someone stop me from running away...

Ah, now the story about the conclusion of the matter

Daniel 4- 
King Nebuchadnezzar and the prophecy fulfilled

Mainly,

At first, the king is praising God. Then He has this dream, it is interpreted and he is forewarned, even counseled how to possibly avoid it . 

(Dream of a great tree)

4: 24“This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: 25You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes. 26The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that Heaven rules. 27Therefore, O king, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your  prosperity will continue.”

1 year later (12 months), and the king forgets or just gets caught up and still messes up. Has to pay the penalty, of being cast out and live like an animal for 7 times. 

4: 28All this happened to King Nebuchadnezzar.

At the end, the king acknowledges God and is more prosperous than before.

4: 37
Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

 Well, Dan, what you get from this ? Why did it happen? Well, it is pretty sweet to see that God even then, used a pagan to show His splendor and power. King Nebuchadnezzar was not a one god person, he served many or believed in them, since he said 4:18b "But you can, because the spirit of the holy gods is in you.” to Belteshazzar (Daniel's name changed when he went to Babylon). Also,God does all this through a pagan, (perhaps a sign of things to come, how God's salvation comes to all, not just the Jews.....Hindsight?)

Anyways, um, make it simple Dan, before you confuse yourself.

King Nebuchadnezzar- had a dream

dream=prophecy

12 months after dream happened it came as was prophesied

The king repented and Gave glory to GOD .

The king was restored and made greater than before.

Ok, so hm, what you think Dan? What's it all mean ?

Funny how though all this was foretold, King Nebuchadnezzar messed up. Not right away, either, so I can be doing what is right and then get caught up in something and well, boom, fall flat on the face.

Mess ups are gonna happen. Even it being foretold, I will stumble.

It won't be pretty nor does it last one day or something small, it can be pretty rough and humiliating (a king made to be like an animal?)

There is still salvation.

There is still forgiveness and a way  back to where we were before on the path of God

This sin/failure does Not have to be "the end of the world."

Repentance

God saves

Things can be better than before

This is the end of the matter......fear God and Keep His commands.....What are the commands?

Think Dan, it's right in front of you......time to recharge, Renew us Father..... Forgive me and open my eyes to your plan.....or well, help me just follow your decrees, I have enough trouble with that. Heal us, thank you for Your Love. 

break time

Dan, remember this:

God is God, you are not.

Stop asking questions, believe what is written

God loves you

The lost need help

Romans 8:28

Stick to what is said, not what is thought

Nothing on earth or under, or in, is or should be put higher than God.

With reverance and humility are those raised up

More than you is in the world, just like we learned that the planets revolve around the sun, so the world doesn't revolve around you , but around God.

Repent.....Repent.....

Pray, talk, write, revolve of life not on you or anyone person.

It's ok to be scared.

Self reflection is not self pity


Dan, above all Love others, not oneself.

Part 1 of the matter, the conclusion before the example

Ecclesiastes 12:  ¹³ Now all has been heard;
   here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
   for this is the duty of all mankind.
¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment,
   including every hidden thing,
   whether it is good or evil.

Be careful Dan, it is not just about being found out in this life. All things will be judged. Who will defend you?

What to give

Daniel 3 :

16Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend

ourselves before you in this matter. 17If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

19Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed......

26Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come

out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

So, what is the amazing part?

This no Small thing, getting tossed in a furnace, no matter what the temperature, is not something people walk away from unsinged.

Yet we focus on the fire and what happened there, that we ignore or push aside what was demonstrated.

Basically, King Nebuchadnezzar was the greatest king of his time (read previous chapter)

As such, when he said something, it was to be done. Now why does this matter? Well, this is not a time of democracy, jury decides trial. Literally, you disobey, king having a bad day, and ding, there goes your head. Not funny, the truth.

So , what did those 3 do ? They picked God over the king. Not only that, they basically, from how the king reacts, slapped him in the face.

Now, what God did, saving from the fire was immensely understated. I mean amazing is not even a fraction what happened.Yet, I believe to God, that is and was nothing. Actually, to Him, and I'm just thinking, this is not fact based, but from how God took Enoch who walked with Him, gave David the honor of having Jesus as a descendant, just making David king and saying that David was a man after His heart and keeping David's line for all that time, well, the reward for these 3 (to live, to be used in a miracle, and after promoted) that was um, God was ecstatic to save them.

To God, I believe, this is all it comes down to: V.16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

The center to these events. 

Don't overlook that, Dan, this is not about the action of them saved, it's the action of God being first, being the reason for living. In all things, no matter the outcome, whether God saves from it or allows it to come to pass,  it IS about GOD and HIS WAYS. No matter what. That is what I think, um, you know, just is one of the great motivators to HIM, when we can say “God, you can save me from it, but even if you don't, I won't do what goes against you.” Totally, just , wow, I can't think of the words.

Can I say that? DO I do that? Am I striving to do it? Hm, if God said, “ Do all this for me, I'm not gonna stop the “fire” from burning you and destroying you.” Would I do it? DO I do it?

I have to. Remember, Dan, this story. Do you have the faith, the reliance, the mindset of “ God, some painful things are gonna happen, I know you can save me from it, but even if you don't, I won't disobey You.” Whether I like it or not, or understand why.

Dan, this is just like Paul saying in Ph'p:1:21: For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Oh, God HELP ME ! PLEASE! HELP US PLEASE! 

Open my eyes to Your Truth, please, I'm so lost, so much I have to learn. Thank you for being patient and merciful. You know my prayers and the reasons for my tears. Please carry through the fires, teach to disregard my life for Your purpose. Just know I'm scared of that, though. Scared of the scars to be gained and those I carry and so sorry for those I have given others. Heal it all, please. Through your Son, Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving (hope I got it right this time :P )

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Just verses

Colossians 2:6-7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Psalm 100:4-5

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Peace.....:)

Forgive me for you who I have hurt

"Forgiven"(skillet, album -awake- 2009)

[V1]
Forgive me now cause I
Have been unfaithful
Don't ask me why cause I don't know

So many times I've tried
But was unable
But this heart belongs to you alone

[Chorus:]
Now I'm in our secret place
Alone in your embrace
Where all my wrongs have been erased
You have forgiven
All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven

[V2]
Forgive me I'm ashamed
I've loved another
I can't explain cause I don't know
No one can take your place
And there is no other
Forever yours and yours alone

[Chorus]
Now I'm in our secret place
Alone in your embrace
Where all my wrongs have been erased
You have forgiven
All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven
[Bridge]
Take me to our secret place
(We'll leave the world away)
I get down on my knees
Feel your love wash over me
There will never be another
You're the only one forever
And you know I'm yours alone

[Chorus]
 Now I'm in our secret place
Alone in your embrace
Where all my wrongs have been erased
You have forgiven
All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven

Forgive me, God for I have not put you first. Forgive me for it is you that this wretched man has hurt above all others. Shed your mercy and forgiveness on me and those that hurt from my sin. Only through you can my sins be forgiven and healing and growth begin. Shine on this wretched man the wonders of your love, that I may understand again the way of your light. I do not deserve it, nor do I earn it, NEVER EVER will I be worthy by any account other than by your love and grace. You tell me that if I confess to you, there is hope, if I truly repent, though I may stumble, you are there when I call, waiting for it. So I call out in fear, in reverence, in pain, and in sorrow, for my anger and disrespect, my sins, has become a cup of  wrath from you, and I deserve it.

 I lift up my soul, oh Father, I lay this weak body face on the floor, for I fear your righteous discipline, one finger of it, light as can be, would break this body and soul. I beg for your healing to those I hurt,  though this body of mine be ruined, and my heart be broken in infinite pieces,  please forgive me  and accept my repentence.
You love me and you only have the way. Mercy, grace, through your Son. I  lay my heart darkened by my sin before you. I'm at your mercy. Renew, cleanse, a miracle, please, again.

James 5:16a
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

1John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Revelation 3:19a
 ¹⁹ Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.

New Days

Matthew 3:17
And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” 

 

Matthew 16:13-16

 

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets." "But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

John 14:6
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

 

John 14:10

Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.

test

Psalm 119:18
Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Where Strength Begins by Phillips, Craig, & Dean

Philippians 3:12

Here I sit with this cup of life in front of me
I see it's full but I'm afraid to drink
Because I've tried and I've missed the mark
so many times
I can't forget all the hurt inside

But rising up from the ashes
of these memories
I reach for a hand to save me
And I hear Him Calling

Walk on
Til fear turns to faith and faith becomes sight
Where strength begins
You've got to press on
Move on through the pain
move on to the place
Where weakness ends
Where strength begins

Here I stand looking to the climb
that's up ahead
I will fall but I'll get up again
Because I know if I keep on walking
through the fire
I'll be a newer, stronger man of God and I'll

Rise up from the ashes of my memories
And I'll reach for His hand to save me
And I'll hear Him calling

Take up your cross
Get up and walk
Where strength begins

Rising up from the ashes of these memories
I reach for his hand to save me
And I hear Him calling
 --------------------------------------------------------
Hm,  I have many things to learn in life, isn't it great?!   How is it that strength begins when I feel weak? Cause real strength doesn't come from me.....
Thank God !
Lots going on here, if anyone reads this, I will try to setup a verse or something or get on to make a note, but no promises (electricity issues, don't always have access, busy time, and movement). Alas, Please, if you do read (hope you get encouraged and strengthened, or more)  , pray for mercy, protection, and a miracle for me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart & Peace be with you. God's will be done.
Peace.....:)

Hm,

Hm, wow, how can one cry in sorrow and joy at the same time? I don't know, but I have today, it is an important day, today to me.

I sometimes think, that I will have no more tears to shed, then they come. Why? NO clue, but i have before cried til no tears came, I do that still.

I have to believe, that Love is enough, God's Love is enough, to love and keep loving is able to heal within oneself and those around. The true nature though is not for oneself, but for others. Hence why God is love, not cause He created it, be cause HE IS it by what HE does.

How my heart longs for.... cries for....

God is Good, always. Thank you God for your love and that which you show through others, I pray I can show a kajilliionth,, if even that much, of your love to others.

Mercy and a miracle I ask and pray. Oh God you are the one and only !

Howdy Saturday I think

What do I say? Today has been a long day. Very long and very scary. I had a nightmare, not sure what happened but I found myself fighting a demon. I haven't had dream that vivid or real feeling in a long time. I woke up thinking I was fighting it. It freaked me out. I remember one thing also, Using God's name to get rid of it. I was in the dark in my dream and was in a room, all of a sudden some demon attacked me, not just some random thing, but like it was waiting for the opportunity to see me weak and pounce on me. I was fighting for my life and all of a sudden in my mind, I hear" Use God" . wow, how far can I be mislead ? That right there, woke me up I think. I woke up afraid, first I thought it was the dream, (was vivid), but then I realized, it has been the simple answer that I over think.
 Use God. That is very simple to say. "Use God. Use Him. He wants you to."
Yet it seems we use Him when it suits us. If not then of course it isn't my fault. (sarcasm)
"ah, thank God I can do this today, thank God I'm not like this" (read Luke 18:9-12)

Truly, God is the one of mercy, cause everyday He reminds me how I need Him and how messed up I really am. I have been spending lots of time, tryin to tell God what I think and not hearing what He is saying. I don't know everything, in fact, the things I do know, are tested each day. Both within myself and outside. Sin does not stop for no man and that in itself, is a reason/reminder that we need Him. For this reason, I say today, Wow, there really is no God but the God of heaven.
I think my heart has no more tears to shed today, it has been a long day in this sense. For many reasons. Each day though, thank God, I pray for mercy and a miracle, today was a miracle and out pouring of mercy, for easy He could just say "ok, enough is enough, I'm done with Dan, he just is a mess-up, he doesn't get it, he has to use me all the time"
No instead He says "lets remind Him who I AM, get him back on track, and let him remember to come to me whenever the tears, wailing,pain, joy, anger, fear, selfishness or lack of courage, anything comes his way or by his mistakes..... "

So, I continue to pray for mercy and a miracle for something in particular and lower my head and body to him.

Today though, I did and hope others do: Psalm 95:1-2

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
 let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving
 and extol him with music and song.

God is good always, though I cannot see what is ahead, I can have confidence that through my mistakes , errors, stupidity, triumphs and failures, He will watch and help if I remember aka lower myself,  to "use God" in everything, always.
I pray for a miracle....for mercy.....for her who my heart loves.....


A.E.E. please.....chance

I made a mistake

Haha I made a mistake. Days run so close together, it isn't thanksgiving. Wow, am I off, dumb Dan.

Lets see if I can get this right.

Psalm 1:1-2

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.

John 17:17

Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

I thonk self explanatory. Still, as simple to understand, it becomes hard to do. Stupid Dan , why can't you meditate all the time on the Word ? It has to be, for every hilltop there is a valley, just want to get a bridge and go hilltop to hill top. Alas, it is not so.

Much love, my heart goes out to her, Peace and strength.....

TURKEY TURKEY!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2 Corinthians 2:14
But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.

2 Corinthians 9:15
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

 Ephesians 5:20

 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wednesday questions

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

James 3:10

Who will save me from the turmoil within me ? Can one admit that they do this ? Is there rest from it?

 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10 

 

Is righteousness ever changing? What does it mean to persecute? Saul when he looked out for Christians to get rid of, people making fun of Christianity, what else?

 

"Comfort, comfort my people," says your God.

Isaiah 40:1 

 What is comfort? What if the person doesn't want to be comforted ? 


hm, questions, answers I'm looking for, the journey is filled with ups and downs, yet the journey is worth it.
:) 

Hi

Hi Dan, this is your brain speaking. I just want you to know, it's not about you.

".....If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by His purpose and for His purpose."
 (Rick Warren)

Oh, yeah your brain again, God doesn't need you, You need Him and He wants You !!!!! You were made with this in mind.

Hm, Hi brain, thanks for the reminder.....easy to forget in this world.....

You Are God Alone-Craig and Dean Phillips

HAHA, what am i forgetting? Thankfulness

What is hardest for me is I can be negative or come off as such, so think I did it before, some stuff I'm thankful for:

-All the close calls with death and hate, I'm still alive
- Again, God loves me like nothing in the world
-Almost done with um, this work here
-I can hurt, cause means that I care.
-Forgiveness
-each new day to start something new
-I don't have all the answers
-God's Word
- Ability to read, write, and talk
-got all my limbs
- Love
-Growth
-sleep
- that no one has to do it on there own
-that I need help
-that what i have, might not be a ton, it can help others
-Haha, a few months ago the heat was INSANE! So when i got up today at like hm, 3am, (no sleep, so much on mind, heart, tears, prayers, wow, too much to write, another day, haven't slept too well, and my um, small pillow is messed up, another time maybe) back to it, and dragged myself to get ready for physical training test (so glad passed Thank God!, Hallelujah, failed first one) I walked outside and people were complaining on how cold it was, wow, it felt exhilarating! Not cold, it was beautiful. So, thankful for the change of weather, the seasons.

Oh God, miracles are yours! Please, the heal all the stuff talked to you about, make a miracle! Please, you know the craziness of life.....
Help me to not try and change your will or way, but that the way I go changes to YOUR WILL and WAY !

wow, keep thinking of stuff, but really have to go now, partly cause I have to use the um, port o potty (haha no toilets, hm, I be thankful too when i get to use a real one....though they get cleaned everyday , lots of people here and well, enough said....) Haha, wow, i remember when they couldn't clean em everyday, wow, wow, I'm thankful they do it everyday so far . :)

anyways, well, dan, (and anyone who reads this if you are out there, I hope you are encouraged or something of the sort), think time to shut off the brain (and hit the latrine!) .

Peace.....:)


A.E.E. te quiero con todo mi corazon

A verse for today

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10

I dunno what that all entails, used to think, you know, do good, good will come back right there. To have a goal of heaven, to see beyond the right now, that is really great.

Randomness:

Read a part of the Screwtape letters by C.S.Lewis, it talks early on on how the thing that gets us the most is what we see right in front of us, what we physically see, there is so much more deeper inside. I know, it has me,what i see outwardly, : wow, that game, have to do this right now, or that. I missed what i couldn't see, and hurt those I love. I can't take that back, but i pray for the chance to show I have learned and am still learning. That I have stuff i can help others with, but also I need help with. I'm glad I'm messed up, reminds how much I can't do it on my own. Hm, reminds me of someone I love and want to share this with, ah, miracle and faith, I ask for both God. Please. Your will be done.

I'm not sure

I love this one person, I mean she means more to me than life ! I don't know what to do, my whole being pumps blood infused with loving her. I would run through the abyss for her. I'm not good at showing it though. This weekend is gonna be crazy. I don't know it just will be.

I know one thing for sure, nothing is impossible with God. Everyday I pray for a miracle. Everyday I will.

I dunno, today  I ramble, well haha guess talking to myself. hm, that's why I write, Life is an amazing adventure.

What is it about life ? Why do we think we have all the answers? Each day I learn something new, something I didn't know before, I just pray I grow from it rather than not.

How do I show what I want to say ? My mind runs through with all these ideas and thoughts, mainly of her, how i want to explore the world and experience so much with her. I pray, always. Man, i need a break, the people here are stressing me out. I'm tryin to relax and it's like one thing keeps hitting. Took a physical  fitness test, wow, it went great, praise God, want to share it with her, yet it seems she wants nothing to do with me.

Not only that, but want to share something else, hm, something sacred to me. Maybe, maybe someday.
This world is not cool, each day I get to look at news and so much hurt, so much.

Wow, rambling, I dunno what to do, my internet ran out so I have even less time to write. plus the random 10 times electricity runs out. Guess have to get it out while i can.

I pray for wisdom, yes, wisdom. I pray for a miracle. I'm so I dunno, so something today. I have not stopped crying, nor has my heart stopped hurting. I know what God can do and has done. Why is it so hard to believe at times?

I'm at war within myself. Help me God to do the right thing !

peace be with you.....:)

HI Sunday!

Well, another day down. Another day closer to heaven at least.

1 Peter 3:18

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

There is hope in life though I know I don't always see it. At least one cared enough to die for me and you. 

When it gets rough and you feel unloved, remember one died for you. One important one who could have just  not have. 

To love is to give  your all though it may not be reciprocated. I pray for that strength. It is not easy or seeming fulfilling at the time. It is though in the long run and many times in the short, because I learn what love means, and how many ways it can be expressed. 

I believe that and hope to remember that, now and always.....I pray so. 

Peace.....:) My heart longs for.....

Just an encouraging verse I hope

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Peace be with you today/night

Good day

It's Friday!

1 John 2:15-16
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world.

Be safe, another day gone . CLOSER to something.

Be careful. Be vigilant. 

1 Peter 5:8

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Have a safe day/night/weekend 

Peace.....:)

Nov 11

It's veteran's day (USA) . To all those who gave their lives and time and sanity, for something they believed in.

Hm, light and dark , seen and unseen

Haha Almost forgot today. So much going on and more on the way. So Dan, what are you thinking? I'm thinking of one verse :

There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.

Luke 12:2-3

1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

I think it is no wonder it is easier to fall asleep in the dark.In the dark, you can't see what is around you and it in itself, is a false sense of security. It sort of calms you down. It hides you. Either what I do is not fully seen or not seen at all. This is the great lie. Just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

Now the light, that is another story, it's bright, shows whatever is in it's beam. It calls for concern, because in the beam, all is seen, even if looking from the dark, think of a light house, that beam is seen for miles, yet on the ocean, sometimes at night you can't even see what is in front of you.
Ephesians 5:13
"But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light."

Alas, this is a reflection of us, outwardly, what people can see, we can put on a good face. Yet inwardly, in our hearts and mind, we can have a putrid, decaying heart.
Yes sounds rough or strong, but I have seen it in myself and others, and it is a real problem in lives not just my own.
Are we ready to be exposed? Truly exposed? Our hearts to be laid bare, for either in this life or the next it will be laid bare.
For myself, Dan, you need to not cover the decay, but fully accept it is there and truly face it. Not alone, for it can eat you alive, and not half heartedly or your own plan, because it will not work right nor be truly healed. Only God and His way can heal and renew me.
hehe,I think of G I Joe "knowing is half the battle" , yes so I know, now I have to face it and expose it, before it is too late and the death I go through is too late.

This is a saddening note today Dan, hm, sobering, especially now. I'm not perfect, no, I'm far from it. God,  you can only heal me and others, please do.

Peace.....:)

Stop and listen 2

OK short note.....Not sure what else to say, zip the lip and cut the quick wit. Well that's for me at least. Take my time and think, how hard it is for me. It's crazy, how the hardest thing to do , is to not do something. Like  telling a kid- hey don't stick your hand on the stove......- then that is what he wants to do right away. That's how it feels when I think of this.....hm, keep on thinking I guess

Peace.....:)

I think of the prodigal son as an inspiration to the song by Phillips, Craig, & Dean

Verse 1:
Almighty God, The Great I Am,
Immovable Rock, Omnipotent, Powerful,
Awesome Lord.
Victorious Warrior, Commanding King of Kings,
Mighty Conqueror and the only time,
The only time I ever saw him run,
Was when...

Chorus:
He ran to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice He said
"Son, do you know I still love You?"
(End Chorus)

He caught me By surprise, When God ran...

Verse 2:
The day I left home,
I knew I'd broken His heart.
And I wondered then, if things could ever be the same.
Then one night,
I remembered His love for me.
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see,
It was the only time,
It was the only time I ever saw Him run.
And then...

Repeat Chorus

He caught me by surprise.
And He brought me to my knees.
When God ran... I saw Him run to me.

Bridge:
I was so ashamed, all alone, and so far away.
But now I know, that He's been waiting for this day...

I saw Him run to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice
I felt his love for me again.
He ran to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son"
He called me Son.
He said "Son, do you know I still love You?"
He ran to me (When God Ran)
(I saw Him run to me)
And then I ran to Him
(When God ran)
When God ran

Note:
Background vocals in parentheses.

Let Him run.....to you

Stop.....and listen......

What a day, beautiful weather, yet another day closer to leaving.
Who is right ? In battles how do we find out who is right or wrong ? If I fight does it mean I'm being violent?

Hm, that is a question too blurred by what is taught. Violence and fighting seem to be one and the same.
It isn't. I fight everyday, but violence is not a part of it. Don't get me wrong, it sometimes feels as if I would rather take a bite at someone with words or some other avenue, than keep my mouth shut.  Or to easily just take all the blame and put it on someone else and not even acknowledge that maybe I made a mistake or have made mistakes .
The hardest fight is the one within us. I wondered many times what James meant in James 1-
 ¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Yeah, that's been me, totally messed up in this respect.  My mind just hears some of things said and it just starts thinking on it before it's all done. I think at this present time, people think I'm a little um, "slower" than I may be, mainly since I take time alot more or have to ask, "what did you say again?"  or I just stand there thinking, and then answer....most of the time, I still have times i just quip back and then it's just worse cause I'm off base and well, you get the picture......:)
Trust me, I don't want to slow down, I want to just say what i think, but that is the problem isn't it? Just saying what is thought. How many people just say something only to wish they hadn't or say something and it is totally off base or not even on topic? I've done it too many times, and then I confuse myself and get angry with my self and it comes out at someone.


Haha, it's funny looking at it afterwards. I can just see myself looking like a doofus, "um, duh, use smaller, slower words" :)
What is not funny is the pain it causes, to not be quick to listen or slow to speak or get angry, no, that is not funny. I lament that everyday of my life.

So, I'm getting off base, mainly, meant to keep on tlaking about fighting and violence, but fighting is hard enough and violence seems to be the uncontrolled step past fighting.

In the words of Mr. Han(the Karate kid 2010) : Being still and doing nothing are two very different things.


Wow, I'm really not keeping on one topic trail huh ? Ok, let hm, what am I thinking? Hm, fighting starts within me, and it isn't the same as being violent. The battle usually starts with if I actually listen or jump to conclusions. I can see how it is totally against society, nowadays, everthing is quick or how I feel is fine, just do it. 
To listen and slow to speak are like the antithesis of all there is now. Hm, i need a break and gather my thoughts, but I will back to this not the next post but the one after.

Be safe, any ideas or comments?

Happy Sunday

 

These are pretty entertaining .....:)

ANTSY

Today was a day. Lots going on, getting ready to head back to the states. Excited and sad at the same time. Hoping and praying all goes well and someone in particular shows up. Can't believe been here this long. Ready for some taco bell and not having to walk around in uniform all the time.

Oh, early morning for me. Have a test, no thanks. Eh, no like running. :(

Good stuff:

Another day closer to go back
Beautiful day
Got multiple things done
Praying was good
Listened to some good music while working
God is Good and kept us safe, been scared numerous times, but alive still

Ok, tired, need rest.



Hebrews 10: 35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For,
“In just a little while,
he who is coming will come
and will not delay.”
38 And,
“But my righteous  one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure
in the one who shrinks back.”[
39 But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Have a great day..... :)

Hello FRIDAY!

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Proverbs 16:25



Hm, be careful on the weekend, cause I just think of people getting drunk and driving, or trying to act all tough and doing stupid stuff. Flying down the highway on motorcycles, starting fights, etc. 


One act can lead to some serious saddness. 


Just be careful this weekend , hehe, for us here we have to be careful everyday......


BE safe.....:)

What I

Well, what is my answer ot the verse of yesterday ?

What do I put my belief in the answer to?

I use the Holy Bible. That has the answers in it.
I believe it was inspired by God and is His words.
In it or by it I test what is said.

Most people say "well, is it the King James one, the NIV one, The NASV, or which one ?
Um, I use whichever I have in my hand, though I have had some trouble understanding King James at times.

Not only that, but i go back to the um, hebrew or greek to see the meaning of words, since though words are similar, each tense or portrayal can be a big difference.

Why though ? By that standard I have something to test myself and what others say. It doesn't change. It still says the same thing as it first did .

It is hard though because really, if I use the Bible I'm already standing for something, a no-no in thsi world where anything is ok as long as it doesn't necessarily hurt someone else's feelings.

I'm gonna mess up by what it says and I'm gonna hurt others feelings. I'm gonna make people mad and I just have to face that.


Wow, ok, so that is my answer, I test myself and what others say by the Bible.

It hurts me cause at one time or /and another I'm gonna be um, darn, what is the word.....rebuked by the same words I go by. Yay for forgiveness and not being about my own righteousness.

People won't agree with me, that stinks too. But in reality I cna be um, not so much personally hurt cause it isn't that they are not agreeing with me, but that they are not agreeing with God.

All I know is that through all things, if i stick to what is said, it comes out  better than I could imagine. DO I think so at the time, honestly, no, I cry and pout and lose my head, but if I get back to doing what God says in the Word, then it works out.

Well, that's my answer. Hope you have a good day. Be safe.

Just a verse

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

1 John 4:1

Hm, we have to think before we go along with what people say.
I think of some of the religions and I actually was looking up one today, the "heaven's gate" group.
There is of course Islam, yet that is being so used now, we forget how there isn't just a false prophet out there, there are many, like this group which was in the news, basically, the main group committed suicide with the belief that they were doing the right side. instead of taking many lives each took their own life through poisoning/ asphyxiation.
It's scary cause they didn't start that way, but it goes to show that testing isn't just a one time thing , also, in order to test, we have to have something to test against..... This is the biggest part, before we test we have to know what the answers are. What is your answer you test things against ? Is it emotions, is it feelings, is it a book, is it  on faith, is it ever changing, it is a quick decison/flip of a coin ?

I believe there is an answer......what is it for me ? ask away if you want to know, or wait til later......:)

Too True

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing without you lyrics

Heard this song, thought it gave perspective, Life gets away from me and I forget the fundamentals. I thank God for bring them back to mind. I pray for forgiveness and another chance. God is great and well, thank you for your mercy and forgiveness and grace and patience to get back on track. Here are the words :

Bebo Norman Nothing Without you Lyrics:
Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to
praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have
nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of
mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have
nothing without You

Chorus:
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You


Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have
nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
With all the strength that I can find

Take my time here on this earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing,
I am nothing without You

-----Have a great one -----

Squawk Squawk - Humility

Today, oh today. I wonder, how many people it takes to do things sometimes. We waited 2hrs for someone to show up to say things we packed were able to be packed away. so we packed things up, then unpacked them, then put them to the side, just so we could pack them up again.  yes, >5.5 hrs later, we were done. Yup, it was a fiasco.. a couple bags took 5.5 hrs to go through.
Why though ? No one wants to step up . We follow the one in front of us. A lot simpler it could have been yet no one wanted to take the lead. Very frustrating, working on something and a bunch of people neither helping but just complaining and making fun of others.

Then I realized I do that also. Hm, brings to mind where Jesus talks about the speck in someone else's eye but a plank in one's own eye.

Matthew 7:3-5
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

So it is with a heavy heart I say, I sin. the only good thing about me is the most important, that is, God created me. The only praiseworthy thing is that He loves me and all  people and want to have a relationship with them.
It is not without a price, Life. Except it was one life for all lives.


So, before I walk out the door or do anything, I have to remember,  I'm not any better nor some spectacular thing. I'm just like the next person, scared about something, make mistakes, not nearly close to perfect.
Maybe these pictures help more.

So, as for myself, I need to work on this and pray and study how to do these things more. Yet hopefully it is a good reminder to others that, we are all here, no one person has all the answers, I believe only God has the answers.

Well, here's to a fabulous day and night. God bless and kep you safe.

Just some verses

2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting
and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work.

Philippians 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him,
but also to suffer for him.

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword,
it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges
the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

James 1:21
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent
and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Romans 8:6
The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is
life and peace.

Birthday today

Happy birthday.....to me. (crickets) ......

It's my birthday today, big ole 27 ! No one to share it with. Away from those I love, spending alone. Very sad today. Disconnected and missing one person in particular . Anyways, we are to give thanks in all things, so for today, here are some things I'm thankful for:

God's mercy and Love
God's sacrifice of His son. 
To love someone as much as God teaches me to
To be able to love
To still be alive
To be able to see, think, smell,hear, and feel .
Have parents
to be able to be hurt (Why you say ? it means I care about someone, something that I can hurt about the person , etc. )
Be able to be forgiven
Able to talk
Have a job
be able to learn and grow mentally, spiritually, and physically

So, that is a few things I'm thankful for, there are more , but I have to go and work.  I pray we see the simple things and realize how blessed we are. I know I don't always and recently it has been hard . Praise God for His patience. Peace be with you Always.

2 Kings 4:1-36

Just some notes on these verses, thoughts and so forth oN has to read it to understand what I'm saying:

2 Kings 4:1-7
Widow oil -

-Death -loss of one who revered God and followed Him.
-Creditors taking away - they were in debt.
-Fear, very little
-Simple thing- oil
-Jars-from neighbors
- Oil worked to the last drop.
- The jars were enough to pay off debt and live on
____So God takes a very sad situation horrible situation, and turns it to something amazing

2 Kings 4:8-37
Shunamite's Son

Did something nice for Elisha
Rewarded with a great thing..... a child
Child dies
She lies- not rebuked or was it faith ?
She cries
God hides something from His Prophet.

Was it wrong to just send staff?
Elisha spreads out on child 2x, 7x child sneezes (number 7)
Boy comes back

__So God does alot here, blesses Elisha with the room-a place to go to
-the Woman and husband with a child, a SON, - Great gift for a small yet faithful, loving act
-Then takes the child away- Very sad and rough, God gave me the son now he is taken away.....
Even hidden from Elisha- Confusion, but instead of questioning wants to find out what is
going on rather than focusing on why
-The mother doesn't listen to Elisha to go put staff on the boy ....why ?
- Also,Staff not good enough, why?
- God makes him go to the place, and spread out on child, not once, but 2x, yet the body started to
warm on 1x- Give life for life? what does sneezing have to do rather than the 7x (Number 7) ?

These accounts are taught in Sunday school classes to children, yet these are real adults and people, what can we as adults also learn from this ? These are just some observations, not sure exactly what to think fully.
Just setting it out there.

Hm, the explanation of "the farthest distance..."

Kneeling - (wikipedia) "Socially, kneeling, similarly to bowing , is associated with reverence,  submission and obeisance , particularly if one kneels before a person who is standing or sitting: the kneeling position renders a person defenceless and unable to flee. "

 That's what I'm thinking ! Weakness and defenseless ! I hate that ! Maybe it's just a mental thing or something, but I have always been the runt of the litter it seems, my Brother has always been the good people skills, more outgoing and spoken, I have been well, I read alot, not so verbal, a little wacky at times. Don't have that physical "strong" and definitely don't like being defenseless.

There is something to say for those who are "strong", talk strongly or have that air of something. Yes , Superman, the man of steel, Hercules, spiderman (my favorite), X-men, all have this strength and definitely not defenseless !
That is why it is so hard to get on my knees at times, well, now, it's alot less so. No , it still is hard at times, though, definitely. It goes against everything people are taught, "be strong, be the best, be at the top , etc. "


Anyhow, to me it is hardest to fall on my knees physically and mentally , to really be totally both defenseless and not have control. I'm scared to do that , it is very scary for me . In my mind it is like free falling off a building . Sounds extreme, but it is . Kneel before someone and see how small you are, how exposed you are.

Yet I have to do it . Why?
Matthew 23:12 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
Psalm 95:6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;
 James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

 It is one thing to raise ourselves, it is another for God to raise us . I truly have no defense against Him nor am I truly strong without Him . Hence, why I have to kneel, and many times at that !

True strength I think , isn't about whether you can do things on your own, it's remembering and acknowledging you need help and you have bigger hands to help you. In a sense , no, in a real way that gives more strength than I can see on my own.

Hm , I need.... to remember to kneel .....

Be safe, be strong enough to go to your knees , and remember......
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Because .....
1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.