What a day, beautiful weather, yet another day closer to leaving.
Who is right ? In battles how do we find out who is right or wrong ? If I fight does it mean I'm being violent?
Hm, that is a question too blurred by what is taught. Violence and fighting seem to be one and the same.
It isn't. I fight everyday, but violence is not a part of it. Don't get me wrong, it sometimes feels as if I would rather take a bite at someone with words or some other avenue, than keep my mouth shut. Or to easily just take all the blame and put it on someone else and not even acknowledge that maybe I made a mistake or have made mistakes .
The hardest fight is the one within us. I wondered many times what James meant in James 1-
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Yeah, that's been me, totally messed up in this respect. My mind just hears some of things said and it just starts thinking on it before it's all done. I think at this present time, people think I'm a little um, "slower" than I may be, mainly since I take time alot more or have to ask, "what did you say again?" or I just stand there thinking, and then answer....most of the time, I still have times i just quip back and then it's just worse cause I'm off base and well, you get the picture......:)
Trust me, I don't want to slow down, I want to just say what i think, but that is the problem isn't it? Just saying what is thought. How many people just say something only to wish they hadn't or say something and it is totally off base or not even on topic? I've done it too many times, and then I confuse myself and get angry with my self and it comes out at someone.
Haha, it's funny looking at it afterwards. I can just see myself looking like a doofus, "um, duh, use smaller, slower words" :)
What is not funny is the pain it causes, to not be quick to listen or slow to speak or get angry, no, that is not funny. I lament that everyday of my life.
So, I'm getting off base, mainly, meant to keep on tlaking about fighting and violence, but fighting is hard enough and violence seems to be the uncontrolled step past fighting.
In the words of Mr. Han(the Karate kid 2010) : Being still and doing nothing are two very different things.
Wow, I'm really not keeping on one topic trail huh ? Ok, let hm, what am I thinking? Hm, fighting starts within me, and it isn't the same as being violent. The battle usually starts with if I actually listen or jump to conclusions. I can see how it is totally against society, nowadays, everthing is quick or how I feel is fine, just do it.
To listen and slow to speak are like the antithesis of all there is now. Hm, i need a break and gather my thoughts, but I will back to this not the next post but the one after.
Be safe, any ideas or comments?
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