war within

Well, you heard from the WomH.dang loans, everyone wants money. *sigh*
You didn't expect the second msg, but were glad happy to get it. Dunno if I did the right thing in answering, just glad she is ok and hoping the BA chasing is successful. Glad to have news of being ok.
Dang it, what am I supposed to do, Dan? Sent something back, but you wanted to ask so many q's on what the BA is in, if you can help in anyway,the heart's longing and missing, more in depth on new kid, so much q's. Hope the answer was received rightly.

I couldn't do it, I won't try and force it out. I won't push it. Is it right? I pray so, cause it took a lot not to make it a ton of pages. I want to talk with her so bad but, I won't force it. What I want doesn't matter.

What do you want from me God? Don't I try and do good? Don't I work at stuff? What do You want? All I want is , well You know what I ask ; what do You want from me?! Isn't it all a chasing after the wind if its not what You want? So what is it You want? Why? Why does it feel like its just a temporary high, knowledge, work, doing things?

I feel like such an idiot. Why can't I figure out what is what?
I wanted to go with the guys this weekend, florida on a long wkend; fishing, busch gardens, but I couldn't. Didn't I make a right choice? They would be drinking and womanizing and just trash talk; are we not supposed to stay away from that if we can? Then why staying away do I feel like an idiot? Like I should have gone? No, cost too much monetarily and mentally.
What is Your answer God? What do You want from me? You know what I ask,what I want, is that so difficult for You? Please.....