hm.....Help?

Psalm 121:1-2

A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. 

So, where does this come into play for you, Dan?  Hm, are you looking up? Should you be listened too?

One month ago one of the people at church asked you “ Hi, are you a visitor?”  Tonight, the same person asked me again “ Hi, are you a visitor?” HAHAHAHAHA! This is not a good happy laugh, was sorta funny, since I knew the person’s name , yet sad that they had to ask that. How can you call yourself one of the fold if you do not make yourself known to them? I’m not a big people person, crowds are not my thing and even less so, I’m more of a one on one person.

How does this comply into the verse? Does God know you are there? Do you only go to Him when you are down or need something? Do you really go to Him, or is your mind made up and you are just checking the box?  David messed up many times, yet each time he went back to God. Not in good or bad only, in all things. When he was doing well, happy, sad, poor, angry, confused. Surely that is the heart of one God helps. What is in your heart, is it a daily song in good, bad, happy, sad, mad, depressed, lonely? Or is it a heart of “help me God, cause I messed up trying to do my own thing and now I’m in deep and You’re my last resort, and I’m not really repentant, just got caught this time.” ?

Yeah, work was kicking my bum, was stuck out on days and yada yada…..(excuses excuses) , you have walked miles for no reason, but since someone couldn’t lend you their vehicle, now it is too “far” to walk? No, your heart was / is in the wrong, your desire is not for God, save when you get caught. Truly you used to love Him and delight in the Word. You must learn again. You must remember, you must put your face on the ground. Humanity is junk, wisdom, education, power, money, many friends, are nothing without God as the head. Your loneliness, even surrounded by people, is an object of ones own making. God is all we need. I know Dan, there is that part in you that is empty with her gone, and even God said “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen. 2:18). Yeah, that part is empty, but will you allow it to eat away at your soul or will you let God deal with it? Dan, you are an idiot. No, this is not to degrade you, but you are a dunce. Since when did you ever fix it at all? Even now, you think, how you could fix it yourself. Humans are incapable of fixing themselves without God.

Oh, God, it HURTS DAILY! Please, take it and do what You will! Lighten the hurt for both, become the one true one in both of us! I have so much to learn and relearn! Where to start? Dan, Dan, look up, look up…… I’m helpless. No more alone please, God. What did Jesus say,  (Matthew 26) ³⁹ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”…..  ⁴² He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

God, You aren’t asking me to do what He did, but God, like always, He had the right way….please, if there is some other way than this….arg, in my heart I keep saying I can be better, or do better….but You know that it would be a loss in the end, God I need YOU, Your will be done, please, lead me down the road, but I know my way of doing things, but no matter what, Your way be done.

Please any possible way….. I got ideas…… no, Your way, Your will….. it hurts….. Your way, Your will…… be with all…… Your way, Your will…..