arg, again and again.....

Again I wake, and I freak out. Suddenly I realize or remember I'm sleeping on a couch. I can't help but just break down. I have to get it into my mind, there is no choice but to pray and cry. Alone, in the dark, scared of living alone and in the darkness of this world. Why God? Is there any hope. Loneliness overtakes me as I cry and beg,beg for something, someone. People are nice but there is just something missing. God, why does it seem like not good enough, not filled ? How did it end up this way? Will I fail hard today again? I'm so afraid and so alone, I got no turn but to you. The world says, replace just forget, but I can't . Something has to be the point, others forget so easily, but I try and can't. This heart still longs for her. God fill me up with something, I'm freaking out, and today will be crazy at work. God please, return to me your love for you, fill me up with You and if the forementioned stuff can be dulled, if there can be a miracle, please. Alone in a way I didn't realize could be, I beg for some miracle!