long written

I will do my best to never watch Harry Potter movies again. I cannot do it. I watched the last part of the movies. Not a moment went by when I did not think of her. It was not meant to be like this, WE were / should be watching it together, crying at the death of those in it, and laughing at the little jokes like the appearance of Cornish pixies. Talking about how it was made and the stuff on getting it when it comes out and having a marathon. That was you and I.
No more will I watch them. How the pain of something that to others seems so little is so stabbingly painful. How God can You put up with us, when You see those who fall away and never come back? Those who in early years, followed, those who had the seed planted, only to have it be uprooted by the worries of life or to change the Truth into a lie?! How do You do it?! You did nothing wrong! How do you do it? I have done wrong and do it still and I’m crying and in pain. How do You do it?! My God, how I long for her. I don’t give a darn nickel about what the world’s rules are. People can think I’m crazy and whatever. You know what You say , God, just cause we change it to what we want doesn’t change it at all. …………………………