Hm, so there I was, asking for help from a guy and what came with the help? Lots of criticism and sarcasm. Was the advice good? Sure, but at what price? Is that really how I am? Ask for something of me and then it comes with "accessories" aka more than asked for?
"Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry" in James. So I'm slower to get angry, but not frustrated. I'm calmer yet my tongue has been quick still to retort, feels like each word spoken is a challenge.
There is a difference between listening and doing. I listen to people but I don't do what they say. I'll hear what they say, but to listen have to take it deeper in. What God is the issue? Everyone has their idea of what is best for themselves but who truly knows ? How many times will we run down the same path? Why is it so hard to just listen to You?
Randomness, it feels like organized chaos. Yes it makes no sense. I just want I guess, not so much freedom, just um, a real answer.
How is it I still can't go an hour without her on my mind? That I long desperately to talk to her and so forth? What the heck is the answer?! Will You ever let me know God? Why do I care but can't do a dang thing about it?
I just want another hundred chances cause I'm already convinced I'm gonna mess up a lot. Like always. We all do. Please God, do something in this regard, its making me loopy.
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