Oh yeah, make me smile!

“You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.” - Psalm 86:5


Ok, well this should make one smile, cause I know it makes me smile. NOt the fact that I mess up, no but that at least there is one who is forgiving and good, and so full of love. I"M CALLING OUT! I"M SCREAMING AT THE TOPS OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!


PLEASE GOD!!!!! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE US! YOU ARE GOOD! I'M NOT!!!!!! SPREAD YOUR LOVE ON ME AND HER! ON ALL OF US!!!!! SCREAMING TO YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!


Praise God for this, cause need that more than can express. oh, no here I go again, got the um, "there's something got in my eyes" :). 


Please God, top of the lungs for both, for all. Unworthy am I but you don't care, thank you for that. 

Disciple

Hm , some notes again, on disciple, convicting to myself, and eye opening to how , well dan, how things can seem right , but they are not, and we can either accept them and repent or not. Also, it can destroy us and create or distort what was intended.
well here goes:

What is a disciple? Or the 5 types of disciples (the Brother got 5, not saying only 5)

1. The do nothing disciple: James 1:22-24

22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deluding your own selves. 23 For if any one is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a mirror: 24 for he beholdeth himself, and goeth away, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. 

2. the part time / my way disciple

Phillipians 2:21 For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

3. Hypocritical Disciple
Titus 1:16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.
-their actions speak the wrong way-

4. Self-righteous disciple
Isaiah 65:
3 a people who continually provoke me
   to my very face,
offering sacrifices in gardens
   and burning incense on altars of brick;
4 who sit among the graves
   and spend their nights keeping secret vigil;
who eat the flesh of pigs,
   and whose pots hold broth of impure meat;
5 who say, ‘Keep away; don’t come near me,
   for I am too sacred for you!’
Such people are smoke in my nostrils,
   a fire that keeps burning all day.--
Analogy here used was a balance scale , before we are Christians, we are the most important thing to God, aka He is fighting for our souls, but after we become Christians, the scales drop down, God still has to save those other souls; and just liek a scale, we have to lower ourselves....(the lowliness of His Greatness)
( I add v 2:  All day long I have held out my hands
   to an obstinate people,
who walk in ways not good,
   pursuing their own imaginations—)

(These take pride in self,-not right)

5. The Contentious Disciple

Philippians 2:3-11 (New International Version, ©2010)

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
 6 Who, being in very nature[a] God, 
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 
7 rather, he made himself nothing 
   by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, 
   being made in human likeness. 
8 And being found in appearance as a man, 
   he humbled himself 
   by becoming obedient to death— 
      even death on a cross!

 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
   to the glory of God the Father.

This is the entitlement disciple " I'm entitled to this or that. 

Hm, In all these things, it is about "me" and honestly I have played all these parts and even still have times, I do or start to. It is very similar to how Adam and Eve were tempted in the garden, cause the Devil told them the truth in one way " you won't die (not right away in the way you think) and it will make you like God knowing good and evil " (Gen. 3:4), but it was a distortion or half-truth, playing off the weaknesses. That is how we are destroyed and defeated, it takes focus off of God and His plan, way. It gives us part truths s we can feel good about ourselves, but destroys us cause it is not the whole truth, which takes learning and well, the whole truth doesn't always sound as good to us as "our favorite part" so we skip to what we like ignoring the whole thing. (as if we are watching a movie)

So it is here, I'm entitled to rights as children of God, but not cause of me, or anything like that, it is a gift, yes, God thinks very highly of me, but doesn't mean I'm any "holier or more righteous" than you or anyone, Dan. Only by God through Jesus is there any righteousness. 

Yeah, I got baptized and repented but that doesn't mean I can just live like before or even that I can do what I want, or that I have now hit the jackpot which I get whatever, I have to do something, more than just show up on Sundays and Wednesdays. 

The scary one for me, well they are all scary and when I heard this lesson, freaked me out (that's a good thing), Hypocritical disciple, actions not match words. That's hard, cause it is a constant thing, I forget a lot of stuff ( guess that why I take fish oil, supposedly helps the memory :) ) but that isn't an excuse, have to keep looking at what I'm saying and doing to see if they match up with what God says to do. If not, gotta find a way to rectify it by God's good grace. Oh, and I know I'm gonna fall flat on my face and break a nose (figuratively speaking) or something, but that's when God loves it most cause then He can truly vividly (cause I know I don't see it other times) pick us up, fix us up and carry us.

What also hit me was just the verse that I think sums it all up : Philippians 2:21 For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

This one verse, even no reading it after some days since heard this all, um, cuts me like a knife (and I've been cut many times with knives, through some accident my own and others)

By the Grace and power of God, can this be overcome. I guess it seems , the hardest part is letting go what I want, and just listening to what God says, not what I want to add or "adjust" to fit my point. Honestly, i have found just on scripture things that I just arg, well I'm ashamed to say it, but I seen things and read things where I'm just asking "what the heck? God why did you do that?  Why was it OK? Why did  You let that happen; it seems so unfair." 

Bottom line though, it's not about me when it comes to me or life in general, (Hm, not sure if that came out right). I'm gonna stop before I get off point even more. 

Well, Dan, that is it, for this moment. Hope it helps someone, if not, well it helped to read this again, hope others if they are past this part, pass this on to those who need it,; never know who needs to hear this or something.  Fight the good fight, the war was won on the cross, now we just got to fight the left over battles. 

May God help us and guide us. Help her God, and be with her and lead us to the Cross. Carry us , cause we need it. Help us to let go of self and just do what you say, no questions asked (Yup, God, um, I REALLY REALLY need help with that) . Thanks for putting up with us. Heal and protect and strengthen. Know this wretched heart and clean it of it's impurities and gunk. Thank you for the beautiful weather. In Jesus name, Amen.

some Notes given me from James 1

Looked at this and convicted me, and broke me down. Not my notes, just given to me from James 1:  


V. ¹³ When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.


Here goes what they sent.....


1. Every trial that comes into our life has in it an element of temptation
 and every temptation has in it an element of trial.  A trial is a test that God
uses to develop our character but a temptation is a trap that the devil uses to destroy our character.


2. God is inmune to temptation because He needs nothing so satan has no bait that God can bite.
Vs:14 We are ALL tempted there is no place we can go in this planet where we will not be tempted even the desert
because we will be tempted to acuse God for been stranded in the desert or tempted to think lustfully
since there is nothing to do.  Temptation is a reality.  Therefore, when we are tempted don't get the idea
it is something caused by the outside because it is something caused by the inside.

3. In these verses James NEVER mentions the devil because number 1 we can't blame God nor blame the
   devil because the devil cannot make us do anything he can only tempt us to do it.  Legaly there is such
   thing as "entrapment" but spiritualy there is not because sin is not an event that just take place w/o any
   warning it is a combination of a process in 4 stages:

A.  ^Vs:14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.
      Therefore our problem is our own evil desire.  Everytime we do something wrong is not because we
      had to do it, needed or force to do it but because we WANT or WANTED to do it; a desire in our heart.
      Bottom line everytime we did something wrong or do something wrong is because when it really got
      down to it we wanted to do it.  Sin and temptation doesn't begin in the outside.  Our problem is not
      all the temptations around us but what is inside of us the sinful deed may be the fruit of the problem
      but the selfish desire is the root of the problem.

B. vs:14 dragged away and enticed. Satan lures (entice) us with bait dragged away (caught in a trap).
    ex: fish don't look for the hook, they look for the bait which is why they get hooked.
Temptations works that same way for temptation is the bait and sin is the hook.  We are not all tempted
the same way and temptation has that figured out because we think temptation comes thru the back door
of our lives when actually most of the time it comes thru the front door. 
Ex: if your front door is sex it will use sex, if money it will use money etc.,
It is not a sin for bait to be dangled before you or even thinking of taking the bait the sin comes when
you BITE the bait because when you bite the bait you get hooked and it is only a sin when you get caught
in the trap.

Temptation ALWAYS has a HOOK so NEVER look at the bait look for the hook for the bait will look and
taste great but it is the hook that is deadly.
Ex:                   BAIT    &            HOOK examples:
a good looking woman                      an un planned pregnancy
a beautiful woman one night stand     a broken marriage or disgrace reputation                                                      
a good time at a party                               a life destroyed by a drunk driver

C. vs:15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.
    Temptation knocks at the door of our heart and desire answers then our will stands up and our will has to make
    a decision. Desire says "I really want this or do this" so our will has to make a decision and if our will says yes
    when it should have said no than what we are doing is stepping out of the door and leaving the safety of a pure
    life connected with God and walk into the dark place called sin.

vs: 15 and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
.Sin thrills but then kills. Sin fascinates but then assasinates.
It is a sad marriage when desire and temptation decide to unite and get marry because the child of that union
is SIN and the grandchild is DEATH.  Sin kills because instead of saying no or I wont we say YES.
We can choose our actions but not the consequenses of our actions therefore, real faith understands that
behind the bait there is always a hook and if we give in to that temptation we will have a baby called sin
and a grandchild called death.

D. Real faith wins the game of wrong doing.
.Real faith can handle trouble, persevare thru trouble and get back up.
Same thing with temptation we can beat it, we don't have to give into it, it doesn't have to defeat us
or have a strangle hold in our lives because 'THERE IS NO TEMPTATION THAT WE AND CHRIST CANNOT FACE TOGETHER OR RESIST".  Jesus did not just come into our lives to help us die right
but also to live right.
..We have to avoid tempting situations and last apply God's Word in our life.




Hope this helps someone.....


God Bless and guide us to the truth

The truth

More tear shed, this morning, just when I heard this song.

Broken lyrics
Songwriters: Stewart, Dale William; Welgemoed, Shaun Morgan;

I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
And I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight
[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/seether-lyrics/broken-lyrics.html -]
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Because I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore



Love you, pray you are well and protected. God be with you and guide you woman of my heart.

heart pains to the point of tears

Dan, today was a long day in some ways and sometimes it hits harder than others.yeah you cried when you heard this, glad your battle didn't see you and it was dark in the vehicle, huh?   To her whom I vowed my heart to:
 Far Away by Nickleback


So far away

This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?

Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there?s just one left
Cause you know
You know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you?ll be with me and you?ll never go
Stop breathing if I don?t see you anymore

One my knees, I?ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you I'd withstand
All of it to hold your hand

I?d give it all, I?d give for us
Give anything but I won?t give up
Cause you know
You know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you?ll be with me and you?ll never go
Stop breathing if I don?t see you anymore

So far away, been far away for far too long
So far away, been far away for far too long
But you know
You know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed
I need to hear you say

I love you, I have loved you all along
And I forgive you for being away for far too long
So keep breathing ?cause I?m not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go

Keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go
Hold on to me, never let me go
Hold on to me, never let me go

May our Awesome God be with you and guide you, always on the heart mind and prayers....


My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.
Isaiah 26:9

Yes  God, you are the fulfillment of our souls and in you are all things. Be with us and guide us to your truth and closer to You. 

Saturday is today

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Psalm 119:11

Some notes form a lesson

-Not a lesson I made, one from worship on Wednesday, thought I would share-

Jeremiah 17:9
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it?

Who is the last person to trust in a difficult situation ? Oneself.

Psalms 77:6
6 I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart; And my spirit maketh diligent search.

Hunting for some is the time of this. But it takes training. We have to take time to do this. To search.

Diligent- how/ what do we do diligently?

Lamentations 3:40
40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to Jehovah.

Always back it up with scripture, (that is the standard which things are judged)

1 Corinthians 11:28
28 But let a man prove himself, and so let him eat of the bread, and drink of the cup.

Above we should be examining ourselves,  doing intently weekly, daily.
We should each be able to be deacons, meaning aspirations to those qualifications. Not the few people ( groomed at birth, no) we should strive for that? ( question of self).

Reverence, righteous, these are words we aka me don't do.

Self examination-
2 Corinthians 13:5
5 Try your own selves, whether ye are in the faith; prove your own selves. Or know ye not as to your own selves, that Jesus Christ is in you? unless indeed ye be reprobate.

1 Corinthians 11:31
31 But if we discerned ourselves, we should not be judged.
We need to judge ourselves, aka fix yourself.

1 Corinthians 11:32
32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.
- goes with v 31, God must/ will chasten  us. Through the Word .

(2 Timothy 2:15
15 Give diligence to present thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, handling aright the word of truth.  ( my added verse)

We are afraid to have our toes stepped on .

If we are listening, each lesson will speak to us.

Galatians 6:4
4 But let each man prove his own work, and then shall he have his glorying in regard of himself alone, and not of his neighbor.
- um, need to look into that-

Sometimes thing must be said, but teach them the path lovingly, (which here, spoke in a softer, um, side of love)  usually.
Also, when making a point, don't judge, let the Word judge. To base on ourselves, this judgement is to make ourselves judge, but it is God who judges,  so let His Word do the judging. You aren't (Dan and the qwhole world) worthy to judge like that.

Note on side- is there any soul not wanted ?

Side note-Galatians 6:3
3 For if a man thinketh himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Psalm 63 &119 :59,121:?

End verse- Ephesians 6:15-18
15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 withal taking up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil[ one]. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 with all prayer and supplication praying at all seasons in the Spirit, and watching thereunto in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints,



-(I add this verse- following)-
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.


Fruits
Gal 5
1 Cor 15

" everything we do not temper in our spiritual lives will kill us ." - the brother speaking-
-meaning, that the term, "whatever doesn't not kill you makes you stronger" is not true. If we let our sin just be there it will eat us away and destroy us.

Hopefully someone is encouraged or helped by this. 

God be with all and peace.....

ԀθȂ you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller

Ԁθȁ"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return,

I GOT NO IDEA

Um, had something to write then, I lost my train of thought, trying to figure out which station it's at and get back on it. Til then :



Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me - John 14:6

1 Corinthians 3:16
16 Know ye not that ye are a temple of God, and[ that] the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
-have to be careful and selective that what i put into this temple is what God wants, not what I want-

2 Timothy 3:16
16 Every scripture inspired of God[ is] also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness.
-nothing said about what I think, or anything, it's about using the Scripture, sometimes I think it is a fear to use them. Well, people have said that they want to sound smart, but it comes from them, and this whole things is not about "me" it's about God and using His tools given us., sadly I have to admit, yeah, I do that, try and make it sound from me, but it isn't. Hm, working on using more Scripture, cause it is too easy to just speak whatever and "reference" (aka, just mention "it's in the Bible somewhere"). -

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us - Romans 5:8

-Some look at this and say "Oh, so we are sinners and we needed this to happen,  how condemning and rude!! (grumble, anger, rudeness) . Well, yes. One can and should look at it as such, though without the anger and stuff. Still, that should not be the um, (and this is just my thought) the focus.....see, I see this as, "well, I'm caught in the act of something illegal, instead of going to jail or starting "rehabilitation" Jesus (um, analogy of say, the president or literally, King) comes down and does the jail time for me and is not just doing that but personally with me going through the rehab. Look at it that way and lots more appreciation and loss of negativity of the statement. Again, this is just my thought. 

Yeah, my mind is tapering off, I don't know why, but hopefully one gets something from one or all of the verses, the non-verse parts are just my thoughts on them, that's it. 

Well, God bless and keep you safe.  

Woman of my heart, in my heart, thoughts and prayers always. May He guide you and empower you and carry you along the way. I love You.

Eh, cartoon day

Hm I like cartoons, dan. Here are some .....

Oh, and a quote or so  for added measure :
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley 

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London 

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields 

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields 

:) Peace, Mercy, Grace from the Most High

Rain, your darkness you were is like the darkness and gloom of my heart; when will the Son shine through and bring the light? Will I weaken so He does ?-DJE-

"I will mention the lovingkindnesses of the Lord, and the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord hath bestowed on us." - Isaiah 63:7

Who's next?

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His Love endures forever. - 1 Chronicles 16:34

What are you getting at, Dan?

What am i looking at in life? Where is the focus?
This one verse pretty much sums up one thing.....no where does it say what I am to feel or about me..... what I need to do, have to do and why.

Do I want to do this all the time....sadly, no . Do I ignore or set aside this, just as sadly, yes.  But no matter what, this needs to be done, Dan, it's not up to me to decide what is best for me, um, sounds weird, cause that is what life on earth seems to be "do what is best for you, worry about yourself first" . No, I did that, aka, I was scared to go to hell so I decided to become a Christian, end of story there, now, my focus is not on me, that should and needs to be the last thing on my mind, cause if I'm doing what God says (yeah the Word ) that part about me, me, me, is not needed as an afterthought and I can be worth something cause I see beyond myself.
Alas, it is a hard journey cause doing this means getting hurt and walking into and at many times, having to suffer a situation. But until I can say I went and go through more than God has, it is a small consolation (hey, not focusing, blinding myself to just myself) . Oh wretched person that you are, Dan, why WHY are you so stubborn?! Why do you lose focus....... cause I'm imperfect, just the way God takes me..... just the way I have to take people, praise be the most High! Thank you for the example of Love! You are good, way tooo good to me and all others.

Hope, Peace, Joy.....Love......




Oh Father, the heart longs daily for healing and guidance for her, I beg with my life, how I beg for the truth of your ways. please, a miracle, it is only you that can fulfill this request, your will be done though over all other things. Thank you , for love. I pray, I ask, fill or hearts with it and your healing and guidance. In Jesus' name. Praise to you. Amen.

If people read this, well, 

NO NOT TODAY!

Today is another day. Nice and early wake up. Much better than yesterday waking up.....or not.  Back to the grind, or something like it. I don't know what to say today, Dan. Oh, yeah, racquetball. Well, you think you got some skills then you play today. haha, I have fun playing racquetball with one guy, I beat him a lot, say for every 7 games we play i win at least 4 sometimes more. So of course got some pride in that. Well, haha, played today doubles, and then singles with new people.....wow, I'm insignificant. These people were tossing it like an inch from the ground, a kazillion miles an hr! :( yeah, pride went from "ya I can hang" to ...." um, I'm gonna go crying the corner"
Haha, well now I laugh about it, case it is funny. Ain't that what life is all about? Thinking how "good I can do this" " I deserve this" to "um, wow, i got a lot to learn" "hm, maybe I need some more work on this"
Yeah, I have lots to learn playing racquetball. I took less pride and more fun playing my racquetball partner, I realized again just how much fun it was to just play for those few minutes. Winning is not getting a greater score, it's scoring greater with what you have. this is neither just positive or negative, in that, you don't score greater just because you "score more " in life, nor is it " you lose more" so you have greater in that,; it's realizing how great it was to go through it, though you may have been humbled (I sure was, maybe creamed to a pulp more like it)  or been raised up ( acknowledged or recognized for something) , and the lesson you learned.

Paul put it as this in words in Philippians 4:¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


My heart goes out to those who are as i, still learning this lesson in ways not imagined. May the strength of God and comfort and mercy shine on us.

I'm thankful that I have clothes, that the weather got warm, that I can pray without ridicule (most of the time), and that God loves us more than we love ourselves and each other.

(please God be with us. Be with Her and her family, i pray a miracle, that you are the #1 and the truth is shown. Trust in you over all. Protection and strength. Thank you for all you do and are. Forgive us and help us show true Love as you tell us. Thank you again for puttin gup with us and glory and praise be given. Sorry I mess up, everyday, accept thsi simple wretched creature, and thank you for listening though don't always liek the answers....:( sorry)

But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Galatians 6:1

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.

yodel yodel!

I got some random titles, this has nothing to do with yodeling.
No, it has to do with randomness.

We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

Smile- God is good

Mother Teresa : "I am like a little pencil in God's hand. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it.".

It was and will be

Ecclesiastes 1:9What has been will be again,
   what has been done will be done again;
   there is nothing new under the sun.
¹⁰ Is there anything of which one can say,
   “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
   it was here before our time. 

When I was younger (aka yesterday :) ) I wished I was born in the "old days" aka, it changed from the "wild west" to Roman/Grecian time....thinking, life was much simpler or things were better in some forms, respect of things, world wasn't so "big" etc. I thought it was a better time, no, a time I would fit in more maybe? Not truly sure, maybe it is a fear or saddness with the things I have failed at and thought that it "woulda been better " or " I wouldn't have done it then".

Acts 2:⁴⁰ With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.”

Let's get something straight , Dan. You are here now. just because things were different and some things were truly better and truly worse (um, can you say bad hygiene, not washing hands and sterilizing equipment used on people?), it is still corrupt at either end. 

To believe or day dream (yeah done that a lot) of how things "woulda been" only, is a waste of time. Wow, that came off harsh.  

Matthew 6:24.....Each day has enough trouble of its own. (here was being talked about worrying) it applies or I guess makes the point of today is what we have, then or past, is of no use to dwell on, save only to learn from. I live today, tomorrow maybe another story, and yesterday is gone. 

But perhaps, most importantly in comparison to earlier about earlier times and wishing I was there, it is no different than now. Still have violence, injustice, corruption, greed, etc. etc.

I dunno, guess that is another thing to work on. Remembering that the only thing different is to day is the date when all is said and done. It kinda helps, because I know for some people it feels like a competition, "wanna be better than that time" but with remembering it is the same in principle, I can be more focused on just living, and that is a load lightening thing. 

Thank you Father for today, for the great weather here and another day to live in love. encourage and strengthen us to live each day as it's own and thanks for the clean slate each day brings. Sorry I mess it up. Protect her and guide her and may the plan you have, well , may faith lead the way. Please, read the heart and need a miracle. 

ԀΟ̃have is 2day 2 change that

ԀΌ"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." - Albert Eins

Matthew 7:12

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Old thoughts

What can I say? Feels like some of my fear is gone, yet is it too late? Only God knows. I want a family, well actually just want a family with her, but it does not seem to be. Went on vacation from being back from overseas and I got called " Uncle Dan/Danny" by nieces and nephews and those who have children who I have know many years. Well it was all good and dandy, I truly am honored by it, yet in my heart it longs for one or more of my own children, to be called, Dad. Perhaps with my Granpas death it was also instilled how much one can affect another's life, and how that goes down the line. My Dad, for one,from the lessons and regrets with his own dad, well it affected numerous lives. Also, the woman I love, her brother-in-law and sister adopted and fostered kids, and the impact it has, well, still to be seen but what ia can say is something along the lines of  "love is colorblind" and that is how they treat all the kids "blood" or not. I must remember to tell the sister how I respect that and admire that.
But where was I going? Well Dan, you were saying how you wanted your own kid or more. No not my own, OUR own, for I can't do it on my own and I would not want to do as such. I was always scared of how i would be, see fear is a killer, what could be and what is real are two different things. I don't fear that anymore as much as I do remember how love destroys all wrongs.....mistakes are made, but even still, love destroys that.....it destroyed the barrier between God and me, so how can I say that it can't overcome the mistakes and remorse/regrets that I have and will make? That's what happens as a parent, they make mistakes, as a partner, husband , wife, brother, sister, friend, etc. Love removes that fear, and in time or sometimes quick or slow, removes/ allows for forgiveness and to look at the positive.

Yeah, I'm veering off course.
Let's see, God can make miracles, I pray for one. Love conquers even the worst of things. I want to be a Dad. I want to be better.

God, I just don't know what to do. I'm finally not as afraid but it seems to late. Why won't you do a miracle, another chance out of the kajillion I need. Please. Not for this reason or that, but just cause Your love is boundless and mercy overflowing. Heal and guide and strengthen her. The families also. Help me conquer this doubleness, this uncertainty, this confusion, this sin that wars within me. I will always fail if it is apart from you and um, some what out of context from David " how the mighty have fallen" , yes fallen from your hand from the desires of our sinfulness. be with her and guide and protect. Your will be done and we make it ours and not what we want. Your Word is true and help to just rely on it over my own "what I want it to say". Stand up for you and not for me. thank You for your love and patience and well, just putting up with us. Peter told the crowd to "Save yourselves from this crooked generation.", it hasn't changed, it still is crooked. Help us to fight that. It seems so hard.  


Good night.....

Yikes too close for comfort

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.
Isaiah 26:8-9

When this is not true for myself, then sin has and is seeping into my heart. Today can I say what this verse says? Deep inside can I say Yes, Lord......NO. Not yet, but "knowing is half the battle." (G I Joe the cartoon saying)

The heart breaks, cause I just like less than 5 minutes read this. Then it hit me, one can be all ( in best tv evangelist impression, no offense) " Oh how Holy is the LORD, How good I'm doing here and here! I give to the poor and do all this good stuff (think rich young ruler)"  -Yet in this , perhaps the most important aspect ( our decision for why we do these things) I lack. Praise to God for conviction, I'm scared and ashamed that I cannot say Yes, Lord..... with my whole heart, praise God for each day being new and to strive is all I can do, when I fall have to get back up.

Oh God you know our struggles, heal her pain and guide her, save our souls whether our bodies wither. help to give glory to You only and direct others your way.

I take but do I give back anything? Do I strive to do that? Or is it a one way street? Is it easier to give or take? Hm , that is the question.

Ralph Waldo Emerson : "Every man is a consumer and ought to be a producer.".

I don't have all the answers. I don't know everything! Get through your head Dan , just let it go in that thick skull .:(

Benjamin Disraeli : "To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.

Time, the impatience killer. -?-

If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.
- Shimon Peres

God can fix a broken heart ; but we have to give Him all the pieces. - I don't know origin-

Bye granpa many people will remember you .

The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
- Dale Carnegie

Well finally got back on. Thinking a whole lot. So much goes on if I just look outward N open rather than selfishly N narrowly. Glad able to use phone to post.

They can conquer who believe they can. He has not learned the first lesson is life who does not every day surmount a fear.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Prayers

Well, always you like to start with the sadder stuff, Dan,  so well, here goes:
Prayers:

-Always for her and her family, protection, growth, strengthening
-Healing and guidance and reliance on the Word over what one wants to think, what do You say is all there is to it
- not be double minded
-accept that I'm not worthy for anything I could ever do, but cause you make it so
-forgiveness for the pain I have caused others, and their healing
-For my Dad and His family, you see, Granpa died the 7th and well granmas all gone.
-For CD, he has stuff he is going through.
-figuring out what I'm supposed o be doing, my gifts and role
-For Brian, his struggles, i dunno what to say or how to help and I so do want to help
- I'm lost in space, I just don't know what else to do or what I can do for her, to help
-struggles in faith, one movie said "crisis in faith" thought that was a true statement, this is for her, me, those who I have seen and met recently who struggle with religion vs being a Christian
-to accept your forgiveness, cause I have trouble forgiving and kinda weird, but accepting it
- to stand up for what I believe, to accept I'm gonna mess up
- Help for things been working on, anger, patience, controlling tongue, listening skills, being thankful, stepping down and accepting that I'm not the potter, but clay, and God has to mold me or it's the devil.
-accepting your will, cause you sure know what I want, but it's hard for me a lot, cause when what you want is not what I want, well, you know me and my dumb stuff
-help me to continue to figure out this thing called Love, as you want it, not as I want or think it to be
-remove this selfishness within

Now some thanks giving!

Thank you GOD for:

-putting up with my failures
-for being patient with me
-for letting me visit granpa Elsmore before he died, to tell him about you and tell him I loved him
-those who love me enough to rebuke me when I needed it and still do , but keep telling me they love me.
-those who pray for her, and hurt also about all this.
-those who have and still do help me with my issues, failings.
-those who I have been able to help this past few weeks
-reminding me how much work needs to be dine
-reminding me how if you are not the center, it will all collapse
-chances, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc.
- Jesus died for us, not cause we would follow, but cause you love us so dearly
- your mercy
-your forgiveness
- your Word, cause it is as it was and though people try to change it, Your Word is still the same and You show it if we truly look for it from you, not for us
-the snow, well, on one hand, it is soo cool to see, on the other, reminds me how beautiful a warm blanket can be
-can't thank you enough for your patience, cause I'm a messup
-that I don't have to be Jesus, but that You see Jesus' blood covering me
- kinda silly, but Dunkin donuts, I really like them
-that I'm no longer over seas
-that family transcends, more than blood relatives, that your blood creates a different family, deeper.
- the ability to speak
-the ability to see
- well, um, for the ability to choose, though sometimes I wish that You would just control me like a robot so that I stop doing dumb stuff
- The sun
- Stars
- Real toilets
- many many more things, that I cannot fathom, and can't fit here.

In Jesus name I ask and bring these things to You. Amen.

What is this that vexes us

Hm, well Dan, who would have thought this would be happening? Your computer gets stolen on the way up and now your phone goes kaput after only a month on it. Well, that is really perplexing.

Well, I don't know what to say though, I thought I would be more worried or going crazy. Shoot, my computer had tons of um, "character" (broken screen, even put a bandaid on it) and when I lost it, i was freaked out at first, but then calmed down pretty quick. My phone, well, that was weird, one moment working, so I go to sleep and wake up and what, less than 7 hrs later, it is dead, no life in it. Hm, usually I be freaking out, but I dunno, I wasn't.

Maybe it's cause these things mean very little in life. I think some people have helped , no I know some people have showed me some things in perspective. Life is not about the things we have. In fact, some people say "you deserve better this or that" "You deserve to enjoy life"

Hm, really, I deserve this all? Is that what we have become, people who "deserve" these good things?

What does Job say when he is starting to go through trials in Job 2, while he has been afflicted with painful sores (NIV) after already losing all he had and his sons and daughters, save for his wife.....lets look here in Chapter 2 :
9 His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

This is a guy who God says (Job 1:8 Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”)

So what do we deserve? What do I deserve? looking at Job, I think he has the right idea, in chapter 1: 21 and said:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”

That's it, we don't deserve anything good. In fact, we deserve death, cause we sin. Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

But back to something else. I don't like that the computer was stolen, nor do i like the phone going kaput.  Yet, that is nothing in comparison to what people have been showing and communicating. There are real problems out there, people are dying for no reason other than being a different religion, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People need help. There is an emptiness that can't be filled with anything I do or someone else does. Though we try to , it won't ever work permanently.  

I don't deserve good things, it is a gift to have them and not of my own but of God.  Nor am I to blame God if something bad ( in my view or even truly bad) happens or is happening. 

Ouch that hurts me Dan, cause I have done that and really, who am I to blame God for things. Instead, I should thank /praise His name He counts me worthy to go through them, in order to help others and to grow. I have learned many things due to stuff. A computer and a phone are not the end of the world if they don't work. To take my time is not a bad thing. To love doesn't mean to base it on being loved back.  Love is a decision. I deserve nothing more than a place in death. 

Haha, so how did you get to write today dan? well, a friend let me borrow a computer. God provides. I hope this helps someone, I wish , no I pray for healing, not for me, but for her, that God guides her and fills that hole that only He is capable of filling. Hm, i got lots of prayers, I have to put it on a new thing.

Thank you God fo rputting up with us, sorry we are so slow and mess up. Forgive us and heal us.

that he must take himself for better, for worse as his portion."

Ralph Waldo Emerson : "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide;

1 Peter 1:13
Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.

"Grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." -
2 Peter 3:18

To act justly and to love mercy
a and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
aAnd what does the LORD require of you?

Morihei Ueshiba : "Progress comes to those who train and train; reliance on secret techniques will get you nowhere." #:-s

AHHHH !

Well, what can I say, Dan ? Smorgishborg! Well patriots won. Wahoo! You don't belong here dan. The joy you once felt is not there. The kids are gorgeous, marios girls are cute and rebelo's are cool. But you just don't belong here. I want to e with her! I want to spend it with her! Snotbuckets! The one I want to be with and have happiness with is the one that wants nothing to do with me. I would cross the world for her, but won't . Why? Cause the only person who could stop me is her, and she is. I hate not talking to her and I think of her everyday!EVERYDAY!
Alas, all the work, the tryin, means nothing
How does God do it?! I mean, this is one person to another, commitments made and I'm tryin to keep it! Yet as much as that kills me inside, GOD has to deal with this from what.....1hat is the world at , like 10 billion?
Whoa, back this up. I'm imperfect, not comparing myself to God. NO WAY !
What I'm saying is, well, yeah I hurt, she means more to me than she may or may not know and well this kills me inside, but we're both imperfect, make mistakes. We don't deserve anything good and we all make mistakes.
God on the other hand didn't do the wrong, knows better than us,me, etc., but He gets heartbroken like this to an extent way beyond this from so many. How does He do it?! Why the heck does He still love and what does that mean?
Hm, well think of many things, He loved us enough to let Israel walk away from Him. To wait, not to just toss em aside cause they messed up with the commands and stuff, but when they turned to other Gods or turned away from Him, and He tried, I mean TRIED, to just envelope them in not penalty, but in patience, reaching out with miracles, and perhaps most hurtful to Him, letting us fall and go our own way, whether or not we returned, always hoping for us to not get hurt, but learn and come back to Him. That is what love is. Not cause it felt good, not cause it doesn't hurt or is so fun; no its what is best for others, in our case, what we believe is best for others. Wow, um gonna come back to this Dan. I need a computer to type more out. Wow, lots coming to mind. Brain Overloading!

Help us God , to let go of what I think and um do what Proverbs 3:5 talks about, cause you have the best example and know what you talk about/ are doing/mean.
Please be with her and heal and guide her. Please from the bottom of my heart, let her know/and believe how much I love her and maybe there is still love you can work with from her. Mostly may she be yours, I'm scared. Please! Please God! I beg from the depths of my soul! In Jesus' name. Amen.

Healing, forgiveness, joy, growth for all.

Love like God loves us. What does that mean? Ok, what?! Dang it Dan , do you know the answer? Would you give it all?What does that even mean?Help me out n e 1 !

Just not wanted, to force myself there, would be wrong. Clearly dan, you are just thrown away. You still and will love her.

Well dan. You need a break. Too many things assault the mind. What do I do now? I don't know. Where to go? What's keeping me from just showing up? She is.

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
- Amy Tan. Um, don't know how to take that.:/