Aye ya ya

God, here it is.... I love the junk for this woman still! Nothing on this earth has changed it. What the heck do You expect me to do? She doesn't want anything to do with me. And I'm at a loss at what I'm supposed to do. I've studied, I prayed, I've studied some more..... Looked into all translations, concordances, commentaries, all that and all I can see is this is fishy....no, You say the same thing, and this was not it. I want it to be different, if i went with rationalizing or interpreting what I want, I can actually take about 4 opposing views and scripturally defend each view and counter argument ( thats the problem with an active debating mind, arguing with oneself:( )Yet each view I interpret, well it is not a whole of anything. It is just that, a view of my own, made with my bias or with my view in mind so it self fulfills itself. Hence, the hard line view is not really a view it's merely stubbornness and pride.

Now I'm going off topic, and I need to study for tomorrow so I can go out with a bang.....
GOD, all I'm asking is for um, hm, just I just want her, that's it. I'm not perfect, I still have issues in life, besides You, whoever is without sin, please cast a nice boulder at me.
GOD I DUNNO WHAT TO DO....WHAT DO I DO. Please, do something, cause I'm ripping up inside with worry and all these scenarios, and just not kosher. Thanx for class today and um, sorry I'm a mess. Maybe You can still use me...at Your own risk....be with us, her, my momma, and the mission trip they're going on, it's always dangerous, but something tells me it's more dangerous than letting on. Oh, dang lots of things going on, please let the stuff work out with getting out of here....this is freaking me out too. Thank for listening. Wish I could just understand stuff and stop making the same mistakes. Help us see the warning, truth, and wisdom in these verses in ourselves.

Psalms 69:5
5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.

Romans 1:21-25
21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

Matthew 13:14-15
14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive: 15 For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.