The parable of the good Samaritan is a nice story huh ? You have the bad guys who just walk past then the hero, the natural enemy of the victim who has mercy and love.
Yeah, just a story right? Apparently not. Saw a video, of a child getting ran over by a truck, numerous people walked or road by, less than a foot from the little girl. None did a thing. Only one woman did and not sure ifit was the girls mother or not ( video was from Asia on world news part)
So, what about (ASV) Ecclesiastes 1:9 "That which hath been is that which shall be; and that which hath been done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun." ?
Or perhaps arguments on how the Bible is " outdated"?
Just a thought.
It's sad, this life..... Too easy it is to look out for oneself, everyday it seems more signs show how life tends to be turned to being told "think about you..... You can't be helpful unless you look out for you....your happiness is what matters.... As long as you are confident in yourself..... " it is a self absorbed world and it's addicting and destroying lives, Christians are not exempt, especially now with people preaching/teaching how all things are relative and up to interpretation/self ideals, how God wants us to be rich now, or you have to be happy in who you are and think of how you want to do things. "as long as it feels good", it must be right. Dang it, relativism aka selfishism ( yes made that word up).
Dang it, I'm about to pass out, another time..... Dan.....
Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Romans 12:1-2
Chapter 12
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
God thanks for not having the board today, I have lots to learn for it still. Thanx for warm houses when it's cold and rainy. Please be with the friends and family of the person who had the accident this weekend, it was needless and just sad. We are stupid people so many times, thank You for putting up with us.Please, please, get me thru clearing. Please, please, please,PLEASE, be with her, our families, and if there is ANY chance for reconciliation, I would jump at it. Dang it God, I'm longing still and I can't shake it and don't know what's what. My flesh is weak, please, I don't want to be able to choose, cause I'm just gonna make same mistakes over. I think I got it, but then devil gets me. So frustrated with all this. Please, I just don't know what to ask. I'm like the guy mentioned in James , about looking in the mirror and then walking off and forgetting . Or where speaks about double minded one. Just make it stop, please. I dunno, longing.... Well, Thanx for listening to my ranting God, sorry so messed up.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Aye ya ya
God, here it is.... I love the junk for this woman still! Nothing on this earth has changed it. What the heck do You expect me to do? She doesn't want anything to do with me. And I'm at a loss at what I'm supposed to do. I've studied, I prayed, I've studied some more..... Looked into all translations, concordances, commentaries, all that and all I can see is this is fishy....no, You say the same thing, and this was not it. I want it to be different, if i went with rationalizing or interpreting what I want, I can actually take about 4 opposing views and scripturally defend each view and counter argument ( thats the problem with an active debating mind, arguing with oneself:( )Yet each view I interpret, well it is not a whole of anything. It is just that, a view of my own, made with my bias or with my view in mind so it self fulfills itself. Hence, the hard line view is not really a view it's merely stubbornness and pride.
Now I'm going off topic, and I need to study for tomorrow so I can go out with a bang.....
GOD, all I'm asking is for um, hm, just I just want her, that's it. I'm not perfect, I still have issues in life, besides You, whoever is without sin, please cast a nice boulder at me.
GOD I DUNNO WHAT TO DO....WHAT DO I DO. Please, do something, cause I'm ripping up inside with worry and all these scenarios, and just not kosher. Thanx for class today and um, sorry I'm a mess. Maybe You can still use me...at Your own risk....be with us, her, my momma, and the mission trip they're going on, it's always dangerous, but something tells me it's more dangerous than letting on. Oh, dang lots of things going on, please let the stuff work out with getting out of here....this is freaking me out too. Thank for listening. Wish I could just understand stuff and stop making the same mistakes. Help us see the warning, truth, and wisdom in these verses in ourselves.
Psalms 69:5
5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.
Romans 1:21-25
21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Matthew 13:14-15
14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive: 15 For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
Now I'm going off topic, and I need to study for tomorrow so I can go out with a bang.....
GOD, all I'm asking is for um, hm, just I just want her, that's it. I'm not perfect, I still have issues in life, besides You, whoever is without sin, please cast a nice boulder at me.
GOD I DUNNO WHAT TO DO....WHAT DO I DO. Please, do something, cause I'm ripping up inside with worry and all these scenarios, and just not kosher. Thanx for class today and um, sorry I'm a mess. Maybe You can still use me...at Your own risk....be with us, her, my momma, and the mission trip they're going on, it's always dangerous, but something tells me it's more dangerous than letting on. Oh, dang lots of things going on, please let the stuff work out with getting out of here....this is freaking me out too. Thank for listening. Wish I could just understand stuff and stop making the same mistakes. Help us see the warning, truth, and wisdom in these verses in ourselves.
Psalms 69:5
5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.
Romans 1:21-25
21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Matthew 13:14-15
14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive: 15 For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
Lost in fear and anxiety.....
28 days ago, I knew tomorrow would be a day away. Started strong but now tomorrow is almost here. I already know I'm gonna fail, I did it to myself. I keep telling the guys I'm gonna fail, but somehow they think it's an act. Now I'm nervous, anxious, ashamed of myself.
I'm angry and ashamed I have to do this on my own and that I'm failing at it. I just want everything out of my head. For a day. No thoughts of loneliness, shame of my actions, confusion of what I was supposed to do and what it means to forgive. Just make it all go away. One day is all I ask, cause right now, I feel crazy; as if walking in a glass house and I'm rolling around in a hamster wheel with spikes all over it.
But no, nowim cramming for tomorrow, by myself.....unconcerned by any it seems, unable to get real help, my other half? Was there ever a other half? To me yes, yet why then does God just let it rip away? Dang it, you made mistakes Dan. Arg, yup still unbalanced on meaning of all this and now my own imposed anxiety adds to it. One day , God, is all I ask. Just make it better, cause all I seem to do is get myself deeper in the ground. Why was it so easy for anyone else, but me, I can't deal with it ?
How was it righteous? It wasn't and isn't. But it doesn't change it. Is there any real forgiveness or reconciliation?
I'm not ready for tomorrow, can't even handle today and all the yesterdays.
Why God? Why let it be like this? Where is forgiveness and reconciliation?
There is absolute, but everyone wants relative..... Sigh, what is it You are saying, God ? Why after this time, is this like this, what is the mind not grappling?
It makes no sense . I long still worse than before, but it seems like steel reinforced cell is closing around me. How long til I'm crushed? Will You save me?
I'm angry and ashamed I have to do this on my own and that I'm failing at it. I just want everything out of my head. For a day. No thoughts of loneliness, shame of my actions, confusion of what I was supposed to do and what it means to forgive. Just make it all go away. One day is all I ask, cause right now, I feel crazy; as if walking in a glass house and I'm rolling around in a hamster wheel with spikes all over it.
But no, nowim cramming for tomorrow, by myself.....unconcerned by any it seems, unable to get real help, my other half? Was there ever a other half? To me yes, yet why then does God just let it rip away? Dang it, you made mistakes Dan. Arg, yup still unbalanced on meaning of all this and now my own imposed anxiety adds to it. One day , God, is all I ask. Just make it better, cause all I seem to do is get myself deeper in the ground. Why was it so easy for anyone else, but me, I can't deal with it ?
How was it righteous? It wasn't and isn't. But it doesn't change it. Is there any real forgiveness or reconciliation?
I'm not ready for tomorrow, can't even handle today and all the yesterdays.
Why God? Why let it be like this? Where is forgiveness and reconciliation?
There is absolute, but everyone wants relative..... Sigh, what is it You are saying, God ? Why after this time, is this like this, what is the mind not grappling?
It makes no sense . I long still worse than before, but it seems like steel reinforced cell is closing around me. How long til I'm crushed? Will You save me?
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Nostrum nettu
Isaiah 21:8 And he cried, A lion: My lord, I stand continually upon the watchtower in the daytime, and I am set in my ward whole nights:
-always alert, yet never alone. When the lion comes, report to the one stronger....-
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. Numbers 6:25
-don't we all need that.....without the grace, there is only this wretched life.....-
Rev.3:19
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
- I don't like that, for who likes rebuke and such? Yet that doesn't matter, for what God says is absolute....NOT relative. So have to repent. Like how it says good " those I love I .... Then makes the next area and following easier for my weak being to accept.
-always alert, yet never alone. When the lion comes, report to the one stronger....-
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. Numbers 6:25
-don't we all need that.....without the grace, there is only this wretched life.....-
Rev.3:19
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
- I don't like that, for who likes rebuke and such? Yet that doesn't matter, for what God says is absolute....NOT relative. So have to repent. Like how it says good " those I love I .... Then makes the next area and following easier for my weak being to accept.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Lost in the sauce
2hrs. All cleaning. How do things come so dirty so quickly? Each weekend spent, cleaning and cleaning. It seems the longer one spends in an area,the more relaxed they become. "oh, it's just a take out plate, I'll get it in the morning..... Oh, it's just one adult movie, I can take it..... Oh I only cursed once..... Oh, I only lost my temper once.....oh, I only got into one fight......oh it's only one drink.....etc. "
The world is destroying all things, can't even watch a movie, pg-13 without some stupid language or insinuation of sex.
What is the point? Even tv, there are such cool shows, but is it worth it to have to deal with sexual conotations (sp?) and e junk it shows but not say?
Hm, I wonder if maybe should just go out into the woods and just live like a hermit.....but no, evil follows all areas. Just have to be vigilant, always learning, and not depending on self. Nor on what others say is right.
Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals. (1 Corinthians 15:33 KJV)
Oh, God,bas always I remember Your mercy and I fall at Your feet for it. I beg You watch over her and help her and guide her. Pleasel puntin the heart,na reminder of Your love and if can fit on the side, that i love and long also for her. Grace and justice are Yours, I bow my head in sorrow at my sin that hurts You and others. Please forgive us, help us to differentiate right from wrong, to not put up with the evil, but strive for Your perfection.....with You carrying us there.
The world is destroying all things, can't even watch a movie, pg-13 without some stupid language or insinuation of sex.
What is the point? Even tv, there are such cool shows, but is it worth it to have to deal with sexual conotations (sp?) and e junk it shows but not say?
Hm, I wonder if maybe should just go out into the woods and just live like a hermit.....but no, evil follows all areas. Just have to be vigilant, always learning, and not depending on self. Nor on what others say is right.
Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals. (1 Corinthians 15:33 KJV)
Oh, God,bas always I remember Your mercy and I fall at Your feet for it. I beg You watch over her and help her and guide her. Pleasel puntin the heart,na reminder of Your love and if can fit on the side, that i love and long also for her. Grace and justice are Yours, I bow my head in sorrow at my sin that hurts You and others. Please forgive us, help us to differentiate right from wrong, to not put up with the evil, but strive for Your perfection.....with You carrying us there.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thankful?
A man once got robbed. He went on like this : " I am thankful that I did not die from robbery. I am thankful only my wallet was taken and not my life. I am thankful I had something worth taking. I am thankful I'm not the one who robbed."
No matter what happens, there is always something.....no, MANY things to be thankful for.
-my life was nothing but a bitterness, then I saw the colors of the rainbow. The rain was dark and cold, then I saw the flowers grow. I saw them leave, I saw them go, I felt the hurt; the i realized that if I didn't care..... It would not matter and my heart is bare.-
God be praised that I can love, that I can hurt, that I can breath. Pain is not bad, but it doesn't feel great, but praise be to God I can feel it the same. I ask again, that you be with her, remind in her heart that mine is still for her. No , I know that it. Seems so dark and lonely; that it seems like the end, but. For one wh made it all I pray it isn't the end. I still have no
E nd I beg and pray, that forgiveness will not end until judgement day. Teach us the truth and give us hope.be in our hearts and show us the ropes. Worthy of praise and worthy of all, thank Uou god, Father , and Friend.
Please reconcile us with You and with each other.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
No matter what happens, there is always something.....no, MANY things to be thankful for.
-my life was nothing but a bitterness, then I saw the colors of the rainbow. The rain was dark and cold, then I saw the flowers grow. I saw them leave, I saw them go, I felt the hurt; the i realized that if I didn't care..... It would not matter and my heart is bare.-
God be praised that I can love, that I can hurt, that I can breath. Pain is not bad, but it doesn't feel great, but praise be to God I can feel it the same. I ask again, that you be with her, remind in her heart that mine is still for her. No , I know that it. Seems so dark and lonely; that it seems like the end, but. For one wh made it all I pray it isn't the end. I still have no
E nd I beg and pray, that forgiveness will not end until judgement day. Teach us the truth and give us hope.be in our hearts and show us the ropes. Worthy of praise and worthy of all, thank Uou god, Father , and Friend.
Please reconcile us with You and with each other.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Break me down- RED
A long day alone
Emptiness is so real
Never having peace of mind
Running from what I can't see
And there is nowhere left to hide
Turn and face these empty eyes
All alone, heart untold
Trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
I try to find myself
I find the stranger trapped inside
And I'll take one more step away
From the face I used to recognize
Familiar shadows closing in
Suffocating fear descends
It comes alive, uncovered eyes
I'm trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
Replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
Break me down
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down [repeat]
Break me!
-
Who is it that we really are? Are we running from ourselves? Do we recognize the changes within? Do we care? The way to rise and shine is not by me, the way to fall is in us, by us. Fear from others and to others, the hate, anger, inability to forgive, to admit wrong...... That becomes us. Do you know the stranger inside of you ? Do you just accept it or do you ask to be saved, more so to break it down. Why is there division, fighting, and so much pain? We refuse to face things and realize we need to be broken down. Oh GOD, what is going on?! Who is this stranger in me?! Why are we holding on to that and instead of fighting the sin, looking to fight each other and dividing? Please , on my face I beg for reconciliation! I cry and scream in the dark! Unworthy are we, yet I beg for there has to be a way. My sin is great, yet omnipotence are YOU, surely there is a way. Weakness am I, trength must be YOURS.
I got nothing HOLY ONE, please, it is a downward spiral with worthless "Now" indulgence, BREAK US DOWN!
(NET) 1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't be impressed by his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. God does not view things the way men do. People look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Psalms 119:105-108
NUN
105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet,
and a light unto my path.
106 I have sworn, and I will perform it,
that I will keep thy righteous judgments.
107 I am afflicted very much:
quicken me, O Lord, according unto thy word.
108 Accept, I beseech thee, the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Lord,
and teach me thy judgments.
Psalms 141:3-5
3 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth;
keep the door of my lips.
4 Incline not my heart to any evil thing,
to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity:
and let me not eat of their dainties.
5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil,
Please, GOD, i do thank YOU for this day, its just that loneliness and fear and sin darken it. I beg from YOUR boundless stores of love and deeper than the ocean mercy and grace, be still with her and I dunno what else to ask or specify, protect hold and guide her as well as those we love, more so help this unweakness within me. Is there any chance or did I blow it away? SELAH -
which shall not break my head:
for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
Emptiness is so real
Never having peace of mind
Running from what I can't see
And there is nowhere left to hide
Turn and face these empty eyes
All alone, heart untold
Trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
I try to find myself
I find the stranger trapped inside
And I'll take one more step away
From the face I used to recognize
Familiar shadows closing in
Suffocating fear descends
It comes alive, uncovered eyes
I'm trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
Replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down
Break me down
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down [repeat]
Break me!
-
Who is it that we really are? Are we running from ourselves? Do we recognize the changes within? Do we care? The way to rise and shine is not by me, the way to fall is in us, by us. Fear from others and to others, the hate, anger, inability to forgive, to admit wrong...... That becomes us. Do you know the stranger inside of you ? Do you just accept it or do you ask to be saved, more so to break it down. Why is there division, fighting, and so much pain? We refuse to face things and realize we need to be broken down. Oh GOD, what is going on?! Who is this stranger in me?! Why are we holding on to that and instead of fighting the sin, looking to fight each other and dividing? Please , on my face I beg for reconciliation! I cry and scream in the dark! Unworthy are we, yet I beg for there has to be a way. My sin is great, yet omnipotence are YOU, surely there is a way. Weakness am I, trength must be YOURS.
I got nothing HOLY ONE, please, it is a downward spiral with worthless "Now" indulgence, BREAK US DOWN!
(NET) 1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't be impressed by his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. God does not view things the way men do. People look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Psalms 119:105-108
NUN
105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet,
and a light unto my path.
106 I have sworn, and I will perform it,
that I will keep thy righteous judgments.
107 I am afflicted very much:
quicken me, O Lord, according unto thy word.
108 Accept, I beseech thee, the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Lord,
and teach me thy judgments.
Psalms 141:3-5
3 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth;
keep the door of my lips.
4 Incline not my heart to any evil thing,
to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity:
and let me not eat of their dainties.
5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil,
Please, GOD, i do thank YOU for this day, its just that loneliness and fear and sin darken it. I beg from YOUR boundless stores of love and deeper than the ocean mercy and grace, be still with her and I dunno what else to ask or specify, protect hold and guide her as well as those we love, more so help this unweakness within me. Is there any chance or did I blow it away? SELAH -
which shall not break my head:
for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Something to remind you- STAIND
So this is it
I say goodbye
To this chapter of my ever-changing life
And there's mistakes
The path is long
And I'm sure I'll answer for them when I'm gone
So when the day comes and
The sun won't touch my face
Tell the ones who cared enough
That I finally left this place
That's been so cold
Look at my face
All the stories it will tell I can't erase
The road is long
Just one more song
A little something to remind you when I'm gone
When I'm gone
The road to hell
Along the way
Is paved with good intentions so they say
And some believe
That no good deed
Goes unpunished in the end or so it seems
So when the day comes and
The sun won't touch my face
Tell the ones who care enough
That I finally left this place
That's been so cold
Look at my face
All the stories it will tell I can't erase
The road is long
Just one more song
A little something to remind you when I'm gone
When I'm gone
So this is it
I say goodbye
To this chapter of my ever-changing life
And there's mistakes
The path was long
And I'm sure I'll answer for them when I'm gone
When I'm gone
-yeah not a "Christian Song" but the words keep coming to mind..... Not sure why, maybe cause I'm leaving, it is a good bye..... Or that I'm pulled away from many people, both wanting to and not wanting to. Oh, God of mercy, I beg of You..... I plead of You.....what is the path and can I truly walk it ? Or am I wasting time, lost and meant to be alone ? -
Hm, leaving is bittersweet, yet it is as such
Weeks it's been, well last wrote over a month ago. Thought I wouldn't write again, yet I was asked to keep writing.....someone wants to be tortured I guess :) . I have been thinking and fighting it , yet I can't get it from my mind. So I write again. Guess I'm not breaking my word, nope can't rationalize it. I'm not going overseas, but I'm leaving. Where it leads, well I don't know..... Do I care, I can't say I don't, but it isn't my number one thought. I give up tryin to have control. I can plan this or that, but in reality..... I can only control, or try to control, my reactions to whatever comes this way.
I dunno anymore. I'm scared of today, how the heck am I supposed to worry for tomorrow? [(NET) Matthew 6:34 So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.]
Anyhow, many things are changed but not a few important ones:
1. I still mess up everyday, and make the same mistakes.....arg.....:(
2. If God is not #1, then I'm already without hope.
3. I still argue to God everyday. Hm, not good all the time, but least I'm talking right. (?)
4. There is one way, not a goal with many paths; the way God has..... Not other ways.
5. 2 months and 2 wks ( but who's counting) since I heard from her at all. Dang I wanna say something, I just have no heart for anyone else . Said I'd leave her alone and I do, doesn't mean I want to. Doesn't mean everyday I can stop thinking of her. Come on God, tell me what to do and just do it cause can't by my own power.
Alas, so begins a road, lonely in many ways, unknown the future, and heck I'm scared..... May God have a big container of grace cause I sure need it. If He doesn't forgive me and forget my sins, I'm worse than dead. Be with us, with her, convict our hearts, open our hearts and eyes, ease our weary hearts, this one hurts.....humble us as well as get us on our knees..... And forgive us. Thanks for the beautiful weather, the sky, moon, sun, air.
I dunno anymore. I'm scared of today, how the heck am I supposed to worry for tomorrow? [(NET) Matthew 6:34 So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.]
Anyhow, many things are changed but not a few important ones:
1. I still mess up everyday, and make the same mistakes.....arg.....:(
2. If God is not #1, then I'm already without hope.
3. I still argue to God everyday. Hm, not good all the time, but least I'm talking right. (?)
4. There is one way, not a goal with many paths; the way God has..... Not other ways.
5. 2 months and 2 wks ( but who's counting) since I heard from her at all. Dang I wanna say something, I just have no heart for anyone else . Said I'd leave her alone and I do, doesn't mean I want to. Doesn't mean everyday I can stop thinking of her. Come on God, tell me what to do and just do it cause can't by my own power.
Alas, so begins a road, lonely in many ways, unknown the future, and heck I'm scared..... May God have a big container of grace cause I sure need it. If He doesn't forgive me and forget my sins, I'm worse than dead. Be with us, with her, convict our hearts, open our hearts and eyes, ease our weary hearts, this one hurts.....humble us as well as get us on our knees..... And forgive us. Thanks for the beautiful weather, the sky, moon, sun, air.
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