never enough

Exerpt from "Lies" by evanescence

"Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear

Sealed with lies through so many tears

Lost from within and pursuing the end

I fight for the chance to be lied to again



You will never be strong enough

You will never be good enough

You were never conceived in love

You will not rise above"

I don't belong. Everywhere I go to I'm outcast. I go to work and I do my job, but just don't fit in. I go to my little hole in the wall and its empty and cold. I don't go drink and get made fun for that, but they sure like it when I'm designated driver back for them. Someone needs a hand at something, they ask and I help em but if I hesitate or can't then I'm some loser. Not really into video games anymore so there I'm a loser. Don't go out trying to pick up women like they cause I only want one woman and she is gone. Apparently,there is no place for me. Lies, evanescence got that right. What did Irwin Federman say : "“People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel”. That's love huh? To the abyss with it then if that is true. Cause then choice is nothing more than feeling and anything would go due to feelings. Then anything can change in a heartbeat, and it me relative.

welcome to the world of "feel good religion" maybe its all a lie. Just another thing to make people feel good about whatever they do. Hence all the different "interpretations" of scripture- pentacostal, baptist, non-denominational and denominational "christian", catholicism, etc. Guess all those years of studying Bible really opened the eyes of these "scholars" in these sections, some 50 and sixty years; but little ole me must be stupid cause I thought the bible said "Ephesians 4:4
4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling;5 One Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." Guess the bible was wrong. Pick the flavor of the month.
No matter what I'm never good enough, never truly forgiven, not smart enough, not strong enough, not enough; just deserted, left to rot, but hey, I'm just a meaningless grain of sand, on a beach miles and miles long.