WE change... WE change.......So H.D.T. writes. But is it true? DO we change? I would say SOME change. Some change for the worse...like the person who falls into drugs, alcohol, gangs, etc and becomes like those with whom they hang. SOME change for the better, like those who find God and are led by the Holy Spirit into a happier existence serving him and serving others selflessly. But I think that MOST DO NOT CHANGE. At least not their personality or character traits. We resist change. We fundamentally adhere to the core belief that we are ok, we are 'all set'. And as something begins to go wrong, we see the wrong in others but not ourselves. This is especially true in relationships. I speak from experience that usually, it is not until after the relationship has ended that we can begin to see our part in its failure, our shortcomings. And frankly, (again I speak from experience) even after several or many relationships have ended it is difficult for us to see that we have a character flaw that eventually provokes discord in every relationship. And since every relationship is a 50/50 arrangement, it is not difficult to understand why 50% of all marriages end, most within 3 - 5 years. So in conclusion, when we long for a relationship that has ended, it is usually (again from experience) because we are angry at ourselves for our part in its destruction, and we WISH WE COULD HAVE CHANGED before it was too late. But we couldn't. That is because no one can really change without the grace of God's intervention, having learned through the Spirit that our own lives and our own happiness do not matter--that what DOES matter is the life and happiness of the other person--the life and happiness of each person that we meet and enjoy and serve and consider ahead of ourselves. And LO ! !--when we do this...we become happy!! And thus the greatest truth of all is proven true--(because it was taught by He who said "I am the truth and the way and the life") --It is far, far "better to give than to receive". David H
WE change... WE change.......So H.D.T. writes. But is it true? DO we change? I would say SOME change. Some change for the worse...like the person who falls into drugs, alcohol, gangs, etc and becomes like those with whom they hang. SOME change for the better, like those who find God and are led by the Holy Spirit into a happier existence serving him and serving others selflessly. But I think that MOST DO NOT CHANGE. At least not their personality or character traits. We resist change. We fundamentally adhere to the core belief that we are ok, we are 'all set'. And as something begins to go wrong, we see the wrong in others but not ourselves. This is especially true in relationships. I speak from experience that usually, it is not until after the relationship has ended that we can begin to see our part in its failure, our shortcomings. And frankly, (again I speak from experience) even after several or many relationships have ended it is difficult for us to see that we have a character flaw that eventually provokes discord in every relationship. And since every relationship is a 50/50 arrangement, it is not difficult to understand why 50% of all marriages end, most within 3 - 5 years. So in conclusion, when we long for a relationship that has ended, it is usually (again from experience) because we are angry at ourselves for our part in its destruction, and we WISH WE COULD HAVE CHANGED before it was too late. But we couldn't. That is because no one can really change without the grace of God's intervention, having learned through the Spirit that our own lives and our own happiness do not matter--that what DOES matter is the life and happiness of the other person--the life and happiness of each person that we meet and enjoy and serve and consider ahead of ourselves. And LO ! !--when we do this...we become happy!! And thus the greatest truth of all is proven true--(because it was taught by He who said "I am the truth and the way and the life") --It is far, far "better to give than to receive". David H
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