We always want to be special. In our hearts, deep inside we want to mean something to someone. Why the dog? What's it mean here? This is kitara. She is a rescued american Staffordshire. Her breed is called many things. Evil, demonic, angry, unworthy of living. I call her my girl. My sweet crazy girl.
She came into my life, what....5 years ago.. I was looking for another dog. I think a boxer or husky. She was just so sweet. The humane society didn't even know her history. Though they are sure she had puppies at one point and was at least 4 years old. Took her home. Wow, she was a handful. Ran away a few times. A pain in the butt many times, chewing or not listening. So much a pain. Too strong to break things (like her kennel or leash or collar or such) & too stubborn to listen. What's her story have to do with anything?
She is mine and I'm hers. No matter how angry or annoyed I get, she always loves back. She helped me learn patience, learn to calm down, to not hold a temper as long as I did.. to look at how hurtful words and actions can be. She never gave up on me, unlike some people. She made me feel special. And I her it seems. Gosh, I wanted to give up a few times and just wanted to bring her back.
We want to be special. We want to mean something to someone. Do we really know that we already do mean something to another ? Do we already see we that we are special ? Kitara has/had her issues. She still wants to run sometimes. It will probably always be in her. I'm ok with that. When I call, she comes. When she calls I go.
So what is the point? Kitara and I are both imperfect. Our lives have had things neither of us know about. Things that affect how we deal. Yet, we don't give up on each other. We all can find someone or something to make us feel special. Are we doing it back though? We can run away from anything or anyone and rationalize it. We can take the special feeling others give to us . If we dont return it though, it will die. If we dont return it, we truly won't ever really what it means to be special. It's a 2 way street.
Man I'm writing too much. 1st time in over 2 years, dan. Too many thoughts. Basically, in our human lives, both sides are imperfect. You want to be special, don't quit on others. You want to mean something, show others what they mean to you..
Sigh, we all change. Maybe not as fast as others want you to change or too fast. But dont give up, that's what makes you special.
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